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Read This If You’re Looking For A Fresh Start

Success can be so lonely.

I know I should be thankful for all of the opportunities that I have,but there are days when I feel like the world is moving all around me, and I am stuck in place, watching as my life passes me by.

There is something to be said about someone who can book every day of their life with work if they truly wanted to.

But I don’t know if it what could be said is what I want to hear.

I am so envious of those who know how to separate work and play. At what point do you stop being lucky for being able to follow your dreams and passions and start feeling like there is a point when even good things can become too much.

I wish I had more days I “got to go to work” and fewer days that I had to.

When did my passion start to feel like a chore?

I cannot imagine a life where I was not always working towards making my dreams come true. But lately, I have been doing so much more working than dreaming.

And that scares me.

At what point did working so much that you cannot enjoy your life become the end goal?

I don’t even know what my goals are anymore.

Sometimes I picture how different life could have been had I not chosen this path.

Maybe I would not be drowning in debt and still living at home at the age of 26.

Maybe I would have gone on amazing vacations and explored places I never even knew existed.

Maybe I would be married or at least be in love.

You can spend your entire life wondering what if, but no matter how much time you spend picturing a life so different than your own, you will never be able to live it if you don’t actively seek it.

I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life and that if I don’t decide which way to go soon, I might lose it all. There is a part of me that wants to stop everything and completely start over. I want a new career, a fresh start. I want to finally throw in the towel and prove everyone who ever doubted me right.

Maybe you were all right.

Working towards your passions means living a life often filled with sacrifice and struggle. Every day you wake up and question if you have really made the right choice. What happens when the one aspect of your life that always brought you joy starts to feel like a burden?

Some days I do not want to get out of bed because I know what is waiting for me once I walk outside. Maybe I have become too accustomed to the routine or maybe the routine is never actually what I wanted. New things are scary, but I am finding that the repetition of old things can be even worse. There comes a point when knowing exactly what to expect brings you more anxiety than not knowing at all. At least when life is unexpected, there is a chance everything might get better. I am slowly losing hope that things will ever get better.

It is so difficult to continue on a career path that is starting to look like it will never take you anywhere. From the outside, everything looks as if my life is going great. I have a great job, wonderful friends, and generally appear as if I have it all together.

I do not.

That is the thing about outward appearances; we can make ourselves whoever we want to be on the outside but what’s boiling underneath the surface will always tell the truth.

I am not ungrateful for all of the opportunities that I have had in my life, but I am exhausted. If you aren’t careful, the future can seem so bleak. If you need to start over, do it. If you aren’t happy with where you are in life, change it. You are the only one who is capable of shaping your perspective on life into exactly what you want it to be; no one is going to hand you the perfect life because the perfect life does not exist. We all experience ups and downs and days where we feel like every choice we have ever made in life was wrong. It wasn’t wrong because in the moment it was exactly what you wanted. Just as you change throughout the years, so will your needs and desires that will shape what it means to you to be living your best possible life.

A bad day doesn’t mean you have to leave it all behind; but if the bad days start to outnumber the good, it might be time to re-evaluate your life and learn what you need to begin again.

The seasons are always changing, so why would you think you would be any different? TC mark

Never give up hope.

How do you come back from your lowest point? How do you drag yourself out of that black hole of nothingness that has consumed your life? For me, being diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa wasn’t easy. I now believe that if I can manage this skin condition, I can do anything.

Be Strong

Image Credit: Sophia Sinclair

Read This If You’re Looking For A Fresh Start is cataloged in ,