Thank You For Being The Best Thing I Never Had

I’m so over you, so baby good looking out.

All kinds of breakups suck. The long-lasting relationship breakup. The “we were almost a thing” breakup. And of course, the “we were just having sex” breakup. No matter what the situation or title, it hurts. When you offer up your time, attention, and body to someone, it’s going to suck when it ends, especially when it ends badly.

You put a lot of energy into that person for them to turn out to be exactly what you ran away from with every guy before him. You stepped up to be the person he could call when he needed someone…and well, how’d that end up working out?

You didn’t decide to end up in his bed just because you were drunk one night. Well, not entirely. You decided to end up in his bed because he seemed kind. He seemed sweet. He seemed like he genuinely gave a shit about what you had to say and made time for you. You heard the rumors about what kind of person he was, how he treated women, and that he only cared about himself. You defended him every chance you got because he wasn’t like that with you. He had a serious run of bad luck along with shitty decision making and you were doing everything you could to be the person that he could turn too to ease that for him.

And now you’re regretting it. Now you feel foolish.

Six months later and you’re realizing that you need to walk away. You’re realizing that the way he’s treating you is exactly what you feared happening. You’re realizing that you had every right for being a heartless bitch all summer and discarding the men that you did left and right was the right choice.

The best part is that he was never really yours. He wasn’t someone you could trust and you were hearing rumors left and right about the things he was doing behind your back. You ignored them for too long. When you finally had enough and had the courage to talk to him about what you were feeling/the things you were hearing, he responded exactly the way you feared. He played the victim and made you feel like a piece of shit for ever believing he could do that.

Now it’s over. Now you’re feeling a little uneasy about how it ended and why. He left you feeling like it was your fault. He got what he wanted and then did the dip. Stop letting this bother you. Stop feeling uneasy about deciding that you were more important than him. Stop feeling shitty about being selfish enough to choose yourself over him. He doesn’t deserve it.

All of the wonderful things you were doing for him and willing to do for him won’t go unnoticed. Someone else will come around and that’ll be exactly what they want and need from you.

So thank you for being the best thing I never had. Thank god I found the good in goodbye. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Indiana University. B.A. English.

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