1. IS THAT A DOG I SEE?!?!?
2. *incoherent squealing*
3. If I don’t pet this dog, I am literally going to die.
4. Please love me. Please love me.
5. If this dog doesn’t automatically love me, how can I ever expect a man to?
6. LOOK. AT. THIS. FREAKIN. DOG.
7. I’m going to slowly move closer to the dog to see if they seem interested in my attention.
8. The dog seems receptive. Now I will ask the owner for permission to PET THAT SWEET LITTLE FACE!
9. Oh dear god, now the owner is trying to have an entire conversation with me.
10. This is not Must Love Dogs, this is not our meet-cute, buddy!
11. Then again, THIS IS HIS DOG AND IF WE GET MARRIED I BECOME HIS DOG’S STEPMOM.
12. *more incoherent squealing*
13. You are the purest creature in this world.
14. I would take a bullet for this dog.
15. I would build a monument to this dog.
16. I would Vanessa Carlton it and walk a thousand miles just to see this dog.
17. Wow, imagine how sad my life would be if I hadn’t met this dog today?!
18. Could it be?! My years of clinical depression have been cured in this one singular moment?!
19. I am renewed. I am born again.
20. I have finally found God. (P.S. We’ve been saying it wrong this whole time. It’s spelled Dog.)