Nick Viall Is The Next Bachelor And I Can’t Stop Screaming

A lot of surprising things have happened during my life:

  • My boobs were nonexistent forever and miraculously appeared when I turned 23.
  • I found out I like brussels sprouts! So yum!
  • And in my senior year of college, I joined a competitive poetry team (lol, yeah).

But of all the surprising things, the one that is still most shocking is that I developed a liking, NAY, a love, for a franchise that has been captivating audiences for over 10 years. I, Ari Eastman, am part of Bachelor Nation.

Sorry, Mom. You can blame my college roommate, Alyssa. We sat down with a glass of merlot and I’ve never looked back since.

I genuinely look forward to seeing Chris Harrison’s non-aging face every week. I mean, I follow Jorge from Bachelor in Paradise on Instagram! Like, I am ALL in, guys.

And being an original Nick Viall fangirl, I am over-the-moon-thrilled-pouring-myself-a-glass-of-champagne excited that the man, the myth, the legend has just been announced the next Bachelor.


I’ve been #TeamNick since Andi’s season. Never a huge fan of the dudes who end up vying for love, Nick always seemed different from the rest. His mumbly voice, self-deprecating sense of humor, and lack of “I AM MAN, HEAR ME ROAR, ME LIKE STEROIDS” mentality seemed too good to be true. A guy like this? Oh man, no brainer. Who wouldn’t pick him?


And yet, our beloved Nick hasn’t found lasting love. Which is good news for me because I’m pretty sure the reason he hasn’t settled down with a lovely lady is because I haven’t stepped out of the limo yet. (I’m not joking. ABC, check your mail. My audition tape includes rapping to Salt-N-Pepa, so you know I’m serious.)


Nick Viall is almost too great to be The Bachelor. I’m so pleasantly shocked. Remember Farmer Chris? Yikes. This is our treat for suffering through that fiasco.


Nick is handsome, endearing, and just the right amount of weird. BRING IT ON. This will be the best season yet. And seriously, Nick, if they don’t cast me and the girls all end up being duds, call me. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨


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