She Forced Me To Cheat On Her, I Didn’t Want To Do It

It was a relationship full of love and concern, it just couldn’t have been better. I obviously wouldn’t take the credit for all the lovely moments I shared with her. She was funny, crazy, beautiful, emotional, caring, sexy, and cute. Every adjective a guy would want to use for his girlfriend, I can use it for her. But still I cheated on her. Despite her being the best girl I have ever known or will ever know, I cheated on her. She deserved it and this is exactly why this happened.

She was not a fan but would watch cricket with me and would get more “excited” than ever if India took a wicket.  If you don’t like something why would do you do it? Why are girls like her so pretentious? Did I ever sit with her and cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy? No! I don’t have to like something just because she liked it, but she did it. She accepted all my likes and started enjoying them with me. “Everything is fun with you and we get to spend time together this way.” Girls do it all the time, but us? We boys like to keep it real than fake it, right?

“She is a spy,” I often thought to myself. She would understand me before I uttered a word. She had those hidden cameras placed in my house, how else would she get to know just by a “Hi, how are you?” on the phone that I was sad and had not eaten anything.

Her misconception that she was the book of solutions and had one for every situation in my life, nobody could really take it away from her. I never acknowledged it, but she genuinely had the powers to solve my problems. We don’t tell the girls this, we don’t appreciate the efforts, obviously otherwise they think they can rule our lives, who wants that?

Girls like her get dumped because guys like me know that they aren’t going anywhere.

It had been four years since we had been dating and still every anniversary, every birthday, every celebration would excite her just like the first one. She would waste her money and would make me waste mine. Very conveniently she would say, “No, baby I don’t want anything we will go out on a nice dinner.” But I knew for sure she was expecting something, obviously because she had planned so much.

Can’t you girls just stop with the enthu-cutlet behaviour EVER?

She would know what colours look good on me, how I should ideally brush my hair, she would check girls out for me, she would wait for me for hours if I was running late from work, she would do things no one has ever done for me. She would quickly transform into my best friend, my mother, my lover, my guide whenever I needed her. Yes, all of that is sweet but did I ask for it? No! Why then am I supposed to acknowledge that? Why all my friends kept pointing this out the moment I cheated on her?

Yes, I got physically involved with a girl for a night. I did love my girl a lot, A LOT. But somehow despite all the emotions I shared with her when that night S* approached me I couldn’t resist it. It was way more exciting, she couldn’t predict my actions like my girlfriend could, the entire episode was very thrilling. I was sort of bored with the routine that couples like us create for ourselves.  In all honesty, even between the kissing (we did not have sex, I just couldn’t actually) if anyone asked me would you leave your girlfriend for this woman, I would have said no. Boys always want to get married to one type of a girl and date the other. I know we are a**holes and not many agree to it.

I confessed and she was shattered, but her questions pissed me off more. “Is she more pretty? Does she love you more than I do? What was my fault? What did I do wrong? Did I not love you enough?”

To all the girls madly in love and have ever been dumped- YES, it is your fault that guys like me cheat on girls like you!

You often fall for your better half in a way that you stop loving your own self. You don’t value your efforts, how do you expect us to do it? You were there when he was sick, you were there to share all his victories and boast about them to the world, you were there by his defeats to make him smile, you loved his family more than he did, you would spend hours with his stupid friends so that he doesn’t feel divided and he can spend time with everybody, you were there for more than he could ever be there for his own self.

Where are you in all this? You should never lose yourself to someone so easily. Had you valued yourself even 20 percent, he wouldn’t have done that to you?. You make people respect you, this is true for everybody in relationships as well.

And my dear fellow male cheaters, I hope you have realized by now that our stupid actions make us lose out on the most special people in our lives. Girls like these are one to be treasured. I lost my girl just because I was bored of the routine life. It was so totally not worth it. I had found love and I let it slide away right in front of me.

 I miss her every now and then and keep thinking to myself why couldn’t I control myself that night. I loved her, I still do.

Value love and value the person who loves you, who waits for you, who stays awake for you, who does things that bring a smile to your face but don’t value them. Instead, you define these acts as stupid in front of your friends. It is rare to find girls who love you unconditionally, I found one, I let her go. My friend found one, he let her go. Just remember she is good, she has a nice heart, she will find a guy one day, but you might never get one of her again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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