5 Tell-Tale Signs He’s Not Interested

A piece of advice from my loving (but brutal) older brother: “If a guy is interested in you, he’ll do something about it.” Well jeez. When you’re waiting for a guy to call and you’ve come up with ten reasons why he hasn’t, that pill isn’t easy to swallow. But once you’re able to accept the honesty behind those words, the “I wonder if he’s into me” dance becomes a whole lot simpler.  

As for the ladies who never received this cold hard advice (or haven’t accepted it yet), here are 5 tell-tale signs that he’s just not that into you.


1. He never initiates

It’s Friday night. You met a guy last weekend and you’re wondering if it’s okay to invite him to your friend’s BBQ. Yes, of course! But what if he says he’s busy? Well, he might actually be busy, so let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. If the next weekend rolls around though, and he still hasn’t texted you, don’t waste another second of your time.

No making excuses and telling yourself that maybe he just needs a little encouragement. He isn’t into it. Besides, if he’s truly busy, he doesn’t have time for a woman in his life anyway.

2. He texts you after 9 p.m.

In an ideal world, people would make plans with each other before the sun goes down. But as that’s apparently too much to ask, let’s designate 9 p.m. as the cut off time for gentlemanly text messages. After 9:00, your love interest is likely a few drinks deep and looking for some action. (Or he didn’t have the guts to text you when he was sober. Neither option is appealing).

Set your standards from the get-go. Tell him you already made plans but you’re free tomorrow for lunch. What could be easier than permission to take you to lunch? If he likes you, he’ll follow up.

3. He takes forever to text back

Did he tell you he doesn’t look at his phone often, that he forgot it at home, or that it died? Unless he has one of the three-years-ancient phones with a two to three hour talk time below, his cell probably isn’t dying on the regular.

Nor is he consistently leaving it at home. Maybe, maybe the guy you’re dealing with is genuinely terrible with his phone, but if you’re continually getting the technological cold shoulder, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s got other things on his mind.

4. You never hangout outside of his bedroom

Given the evolution of dating these days, it’s increasingly common for relationships to start with a hook up. But this becomes problematic when the bedroom phase has no end in sight, and what you’re looking for is something more. If it’s a boyfriend you’re after, ask your guy to hang out when it’s daylight outside.

If he makes excuses, respect yourself and cut your losses. He’s not looking for anything more than a casual fling.

5. If you stopped making any effort, would he still be there?

What it all comes down to is the question, if you stopped making any effort, would he still be there? It never feels good to be the only one putting in the legwork, so if you’re a matter of convenience for anyone, then it’s time to find someone else.

How do you find out? Go cold turkey and see what happens. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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