1. We all have daddy issues. No. Just because it’s called a “sugar daddy” doesn’t mean it has anything to do with our actual fathers. Many (if not most) of us have great relationships with our parents, and no desire to replace our father figures with a man who has money and happens to be older. The two relationships have nothing to do with each other.
2. None of the relationships are “real.” I know more than one sugar baby who has gone on to seriously date or marry her sugar daddy. Even though part of these relationships is definitely based on keeping emotion out of the equation, sometimes feelings develop and you can’t help who you fall in love with. It all depends on the connection.
3. We are all stupid or uneducated. The majority of sugar babies I know are either in college currently or using their relationship money to pay off their student loans. If I had known about sugar daddies before I took out all my loans, believe me that I would have been using it to pay for my college up-front, like a lot of girls do. Sugar babies are educated, and savvy enough to use their relationships to their financial advantage.
4. We are all prostitutes. Well, I guess we are, but what does that make trophy wives? The real myth here is that there is such a thing as a “prostitute” in an economy like ours.
5. All our sugar daddies are old, ugly losers. It’s funny, because I have had three now, and I know a lot of girls who have them, and almost none of them fit the “old, fat, gross, bald” description people seem to assume is the case. Most of them are middle-aged or even younger, and work so many hours that they just don’t have time for a full-time relationship. Two of the three are guys I probably would have dated “regularly,” and the third is a little older (53), but can definitely get whatever woman he wants.
6. All of our relationships entail sex. Many sugar daddies don’t even want sex. I have had one relationship where we cuddled, went on dates, kissed, and did lots of other things, but never had “real” sex. And that was fine with both of us.
7. All sugar babies are really young. There are sugar babies of pretty much all ages, because it’s all based on the mentality. It’s about being young and fresh in your mind, and about being ready for adventure and fun and not attached to the idea of “ownership.”
8. We can’t get money on our own. A lot of us have our own jobs outside of relationships, and the money we get from them is in addition to that.
10. It’s just a little extra spending money. Umm, no. It depends on the situation, but a lot of us are making anywhere from 70k a year to mid six figures, all things included. And when you consider the fact that most of us will graduate from college debt-free or pay off our debts quickly, it’s a choice that will benefit us for the rest of our financial lives.
11. There are only female sugar babies. There are tons of guys, and they do exactly the same thing.
12. We don’t know anything about business or “real” work. We are, whether you admit it or not, business women. We’ve made a business of what we can offer and figured out how to turn our beauty or personalities or ability to emotionally detach into serious money.
13. No guy will ever want to marry us after this. First of all, any of us who want to get married can. Obviously. A lot of us don’t disclose being sugar babies — even if we tell a “real” boyfriend about our exes — but even if we do, you’d be surprised how many guys don’t care. I personally don’t tell people in my real life, but I’m also not dating anyone long-term. If I were to marry someone, it would be someone I could trust completely and who loved me for me, and I would likely tell him. But I know plenty of girls who don’t, and that’s a fine choice, too.
14. Only a certain kind of girl does this. We are all different kinds of people, and chances are you know at least one girl in your life who has done this in some form. And that doesn’t mean she’s stupid or slutty or whatever other word you have for her in your head.
15. We all regret it. We definitely don’t. We were smart enough to hustle, and get financial stability out of something that most people give away for free.
16. We are being used by our sugar daddies. If anyone is being used, it is them and their wallets and their (sorry) stupidity. If they are willing to give away so much for something so common, it’s up to us to take advantage of that. It’s a choice we make, and we know why we make it, for better or for worse.