I Never Thought I’d Be Here: 17 Years Old, Homecoming Queen Two Years Running, And Sleeping With A Dad


I was about to be a senior in high school. I was 17 and full of life. Homecoming queen two years running, I was gifted with a charming and bubbly personality, I prided myself on being a genuine friend to everyone. I never thought of the consequences that could come from being friendly.

That summer I had just gotten out of a long relationship and was actually happy being single. I started hanging out with these guys I thought were cool, and smoking with them every day. Each day was a thrill with this group, finding ways to have fun in our small town. I was starting to build relationships with all the guys, but I didn’t think any of us were anything but friends.

I should have known the day I went to go smoke with our group and it was just him waiting for me and when he started walking me out to my car at night to leave.

I should have walked away at that moment and let him be a faithful young dad and raise his infant with his long-term girlfriend.

I should have known he was lying when he promised to me, and had our mutual friends promise to me, that he and his girlfriend were done.

I should have walked away the night he sneakily held my hand in the movie theater, and the night he stole a kiss as I was releasing a hug.

I should have run away the first night we had sex, and especially the day he asked me for naked pictures.

I should have known when his girlfriend was claiming that he was still hooking up with her, and sending her pictures, and writing her love notes.

I should have stopped when I saw the pain in her eyes.

But I didn’t stop. I continued to let him fool me into thinking he was mine until I was already in too deep. I never thought I’d be someone who had to park up the street in a church parking lot and walk down to her lover’s house. I never thought I would leave sleepovers at 2 AM to see my lover, because that was the only time that he was “free” to see me. I never thought I would let someone take away who I was.

But I did.

I lost a lot more than a few tears or some friends from this relationship. When it finally ended when I left for college, I had lost my self-respect, my faith and my happiness. I lost who I thought I was, and I’ve lost half of my college years rediscovering myself.

Please, take it from me; being the other woman is NEVER worth it. They are back together now and he is still the unfaithful sociopath that he was when I dated him. It is physically painful to think of how much of myself was lost through that relationship. Although, I’ve managed to regain some confidence and happiness — there’s a part of me that will always be broken because of him. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This “Confessions Of Betrayal” post is brought to you by ABC’s Betrayal. Don’t miss the series premiere of Betrayal on Sunday, September 29 at 10|9c on ABC.



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