I will never be happy. I have always based my happiness off what others think about me. I cannot find any self esteem in other accomplishments. I never cared when I aced papers or when I got a promotion. Instead of being happy about my accomplishments, I am miserable over awkward conversations and lost friends. I’ve had therapy my whole life with different therapists.
I’ve tried lots of different medications. None of it works.
I will never be happy because a part of me does not think I deserve to be happy, so i will always find a reason to be miserable.