Sorry Dudes: Here’s 5 Reasons That Girl You Like Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With You

It’s simple. I need to feel like a princess and how can I do that with Danny Devito-esque "men" tugging at my sleeves?

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4. You’re poor

I am a woman and I’m in my twenties. It is no secret that I want to enjoy myself. What is kind of a big requirement for enjoying oneself? Gee, I don’t know, maybe, like, MONEY.

Yes money is kind of a big deal, has that ever crossed your mind, or are you like, living in Lala-land?

Before the thought of approaching me is even conceived, hell, before that thoughts’ parents even meet at that Bar Mitzvah in ‘06, you should take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror. If you’re working a low-end job, wearing clothes from target and driving an old second-hand car, don’t even think of giving birth to that thought and turning it into an action.

As a young woman, I want the best clothes, cute shoes, pretty jewelery and I NEED to travel.

(I can’t state enough how much I NEED to travel. I could write a long list of reasons as to why, I, as a young woman, have this insatiable NEED to travel and why you should date a girl with a NEED to travel, but that’s for another day.)

Why would I get with a man who couldn’t pull his weight and provide me with only one or two of those things. What am I supposed to say to Gemma, if I ever bump into her at Starbucks and she goes on and on about her and Dumbo’s vacation on Aruba, that I had a dreary weekend in Boston with my man? I don’t think so. Get off your ass and start making paper, then maybe, just maybe, I won’t bitchslap you if you walk up to me.

Note:If you’re a cute bartender with forearms that make us melt, you’re of course exempt from number 4.

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