7 People Share Their Stories On The Most F*cked Up Thing They Ever Said In Bed


1. She probably won’t be making salads around him anytime soon.

I was pretty drunk and I admitted to my girlfriend I’ve always been turned on by women masturbating with dick shaped vegetables. You know, like cucumbers or whatever…carrots. It’s something I never shared with her before and…yeah…the reception wasn’t great. – Alex, 29

2. 50 Shades of Grey is not the best place to get sex advice.

At the time 50 Shades was popular because the movie had just come out and my girlfriend said she loved it. So, since she seemed to be so into it, when she was giving me head one night I said, “Yeah, you like that? Your very own meat flavored popsicle?” I don’t know what I was thinking! I just remembered that one line from the movie…something about popsicles? I don’t know. Anyway. She started laughing hysterically and I lost my boner. – Tim, 27

3. That’s an easy way to get dumped.

I had been flirting pretty heavily at work with one of the new staffers. I never planned on actually doing anything with her but I’ll admit, I fantasized about what it would be like. One night I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and said, “Love that ass, Rebecca.” My girlfriend’s name is not Rebecca. Of course, she got pissed, and even though I swore to her I wasn’t doing anything with Rebecca she just didn’t trust me after that. – Brian, 32

4. Well, he did ask…

After we had sex one night this guy I had been dating started asking about my fantasies. I admitted I was into some weird shit and he probably wouldn’t be into it. He kept pressing and kept pressing until I finally said, “Okay. I want to dominate you and stomp on your nuts and make you beg.” He laughed about it and rolled over and went to sleep. We hung out a few more times but he stopped calling shortly after. – Megan, 31 

5. No lessons on feminism. Got it.

I was drunk and got overly excited about my girlfriend giving me a blowjob. I said something like, “Yeah, suck my dick harder, slut!” She immediately stopped and then we had to have a big conversation later about using the word slut and that she’s not a slut just because she’s going down on me. I didn’t want a lesson on feminism, it was just something I said in the heat of the moment. I don’t actually think she’s a slut. – Brad, 33

6. Some guys just aren’t into that.

I told him I wanted to watch him with another girl. He thought it was a trick or something and told me to never bring it up again. – Lane, 26

7. That’s a pretty big thing to drop.

I told my boyfriend I slept with my highschool English teacher as he was getting ready to go down on me. I know it’s awful but we had just had a talk about how we needed to be honest about everything in life and…I don’t know…I just blurted it out. – Kailie, 23 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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