I am sorry. I truly am. I am sorry to everyone I hurt when I was hurting. I am sorry to everyone I hurt when I was battling my demons. The truth is I’ve messed up. I burn and I crash and in the process I put some people on fire. I hurt them too. My demons are not always inside, sometimes you too see their faces. You too see their darkness.
You too must understand that when I pull you into my darkness, it is the last thing I want to do. I want you to know that I am still learning how to dance with my hurdles without splashing some on you. I am still learning how to keep your heart safe when mine is breaking. I am still learning that sometimes we hurt the people we love the most when we could have known better.
I am still learning that that’s life, that as we go through the different seasons and petals; pain is inevitable. Fractures happen. People give you some of their poison too and I guess I am learning to be okay with that. I am learning to accept that life comes in full circle, where we all taste each other’s bitterness.
I am learning that we must forgive each other for our mistakes. I am learning to ask myself about their pain too. I am learning to let go. I am learning that sometimes people hurting only means I need help. I know pain can be ugly. Sometimes pain is unkind and I am sorry that you had to witness that.
You and I are not perfect beings but we must learn to navigate our murkiness. We must try to protect another’s heart. After all, isn’t love about keeping another’s heart sheltered and intact?