I Am Sorry For The Hurt I Caused When I Was Hurting

I am sorry. I truly am. I am sorry to everyone I hurt when I was hurting. I am sorry to everyone I hurt when I was battling my demons. The truth is I’ve messed up. I burn and I crash and in the process I put some people on fire. I hurt them too. My demons are not always inside, sometimes you too see their faces. You too see their darkness.

You too must understand that when I pull you into my darkness, it is the last thing I want to do. I want you to know that I am still learning how to dance with my hurdles without splashing some on you. I am still learning how to keep your heart safe when mine is breaking. I am still learning that sometimes we hurt the people we love the most when we could have known better.

I am still learning that that’s life, that as we go through the different seasons and petals; pain is inevitable. Fractures happen. People give you some of their poison too and I guess I am learning to be okay with that. I am learning to accept that life comes in full circle, where we all taste each other’s bitterness.

I am learning that we must forgive each other for our mistakes. I am learning to ask myself about their pain too. I am learning to let go. I am learning that sometimes people hurting only means I need help. I know pain can be ugly. Sometimes pain is unkind and I am sorry that you had to witness that.

You and I are not perfect beings but we must learn to navigate our murkiness. We must try to protect another’s heart. After all, isn’t love about keeping another’s heart sheltered and intact?


About the author

Amira Abdel-Fadil

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