Whether you’re always single or always in a relationship, people will have something to say about it. The fact of the matter is that some people do better in a relationship while others thrive on their own. This can change throughout our lives while neither is necessarily a bad thing. Whichever category you do or don’t fall into, matters only to you.
We judge those who fall into relationships at the same pace they fall out of relationships, but the greater dissection comes for those perched in their own lane. It’s easier to judge someone without a partner compared to someone with a partner. Still, no matter the circumstance, single people are tired of hearing the same single-advice lines over and over again.
Here are 10 things you need to stop saying to your single friends:
1. “You’ll find someone eventually.”
It’s hard to respond to this without an eye roll, but however you phrase it, your friend knows that you’re probably not a psychic and cannot tell the future. Whether or not your friend finds someone is irrelevant at the moment because there’s no point in giving attention to what you don’t have and if you will or won’t have it someday.
2. “You need to try dating apps.”
Dating apps work for some people, but they weren’t made for the majority. Dating apps have an invisible barrier, incapable of a natural start. Any personality of introvert or extrovert is capable of sparking authentic communication with people they’ve chosen to let in without the crutch of a smartphone application.
3. “You need to put yourself out there more.”
Your friend needs to put themselves out there as much as they want to put themselves out there. Don’t pressure them to force things because when their output in unnatural, the response will likely be the same.
4. “There’s nothing wrong with being single.”
Some things are better left unsaid, this being one of them. A single person only thinks there is something wrong when you halfheartedly try to convince them that there is nothing wrong with their single status in a persuasive yet condescending tone.
5. “Open yourself up to the idea of a relationship.”
This mindset is for people that fall in love with the idea of a relationship, no matter the person. For someone who desires depth, they’ll open themselves up when the person is right. A single person doesn’t need to open themselves up to an idea of a relationship, they need to open themselves up to a person that’s worthy of their vulnerability.
6. “You should date this person I know, they’re single too.”
Anyone can pair up for the sake of being in a relationship. But someone single is likely waiting for a connection deserving of their time and energy. Don’t assume that your single friend is desperate enough to link up with the first single person you bring up.
7. “You’re so close to finding someone.”
This implies there was a time that your friend wasn’t in the running and now suddenly they are. Finding a real connection that makes a person want to enter a relationship doesn’t happen according to a specific timeline so don’t imply that your friend is on deck to become the next person to get in a relationship. You’re only projecting what you think your friend wants.
8. “You’re too good-looking to be single.”
So ugly people deserve to be alone? And who determines which people are ugly and which ones are too pretty to be single? Physical attraction is situational and interpreted differently by any person.
9. “Go talk to that person over there.”
If your single friend wants to go and speak to someone, they will. If they don’t want to, they won’t. They don’t need you pushing them into a forced interaction.
10. “I got into a relationship when I least expected it, the same thing will happen to you.”
Implying that your experience will be replicated to someone else’s is foolish. The same thing won’t happen to your friend because our experiences are unique to us, in and outside of relationships.
All in all, your friend’s relationship is their business, and the only thing they need from you is love and support. If they want your advice or opinion, they’ll ask for it. They likely don’t think about the fact they’re even single until their friend, probably in a relationship, brings it up.
Being single is not a death sentence, so don’t treat it like one.