Ladies: You Deserve More Than Some Douchebag Who Breadcrumbs You

He was one of those people that I couldn’t imagine myself liking. He was way too goofy and a little weird. But then we hung out a few more times and suddenly I realized I couldn’t get the “weirdo” out of my head. He had this confidence about him that I found so unique. He wasn’t necessarily trying to impress anyone. He was unapologetically himself and the more I talked with him the more I was drawn in. After a few night caps and a lot of inorganic communication over our smartphones, I started to realize I was being breadcrumbed.

The majority of our communication was over snapchat.

FYI ladies, texting over Instagram or Snapchat is not the same as texting. Messaging over Facebook is not the same is texting. And texting is not the same as talking in person. All of these things can make you feel like you are communicating with someone more than you actually are. And FWIW, emojis are not words.

Now, back to my breadcrumber. He was constantly communicating with me via snapchat. Every day. Sometimes multiple times. He not only would send photos but he would also try and have full on conversations via snapchat text. Very frustrating, especially with long lengths of time in between responses. But of course, his breadcrumbs kept me wanting and looking for more. He kept the communication with us somewhat steady. Steady enough that he was undeniably present in my mind.

He seemed genuine. But the sketchiness of the communication strictly through social media is what I like to call a red flag. I don’t know what his deal was but he had my phone number. He chose to use my social media handle instead. Whatever his reasoning may have been is irrelevant.

He wasn’t making plans with me. He wasn’t really trying to see me. He was merely having just enough contact between us that to stay in my mind in between hooking up. But not enough to go anywhere meaningful or serious.

He was breadcrumbing me.

Everyone’s situation is different. For me, he was a distraction at the right time and it was oddly refreshing. But there was no substance or depth to what was going on between us. Attention from him felt exciting while not receiving attention left me disappointed. The disappointment made me feel low and scattered. I was irrational and began overthinking. The excitement was not worth the disappointment.

So, take a step back. Don’t misread the ease of social media for natural human contact. What is actually being said, and is there any meaning? Don’t fall for the breadcrumbs. They are just that, crumbs. You won’t find the whole piece if you’re too busy trying to find crumbs.

You deserve the whole piece.