How Your Fear Of Settling Is Actually Killing Your Chance At Real Love


Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Girl sleeps with boy. Boy continues to sleep with girl. Boy disappears.

This has become the new norm. Our “norm” in no longer normal.

Either you’ve been there and/or you’ve had a friend going through the extreme casualness of hooking up these days. We’re skipping steps constantly as our generation becomes universally impatient. Lines are regularly crossed and the “not so casual behavior” has become the “new casual.”

Dating has been replaced with meeting up at bars and clubs in groups.

We used to be forced into actual interactions; real human contact. There was no easier option. There were no smartphones glued to our hands as something to fall back on. We couldn’t look someone up on Google or social media at the click of a button. If we wanted to talk to someone the only way we could get a message to them was most often direct contact.

There are more and more relationships that don’t have a clear definition these days; relationship-ish; almost relationships, almost boyfriends, almost somethings.

Years ago you would go on a couple of dates with someone and you were two were seen as “dating.” Today you can have sex, meet his friends, hang out often, talk constantly and you still may never call that guy your boyfriend. Whether it was for a couple of months, a year, or longer, it can difficult to understand.

We are doing things very differently today and having expectations from the past can lead to present discouragement.

We have more options these days, not only with technology but also with people. More people are available to us in person and online. There are always more options and more people to go after. 

We don’t want to settle and we shouldn’t, but are we overthinking settling

Are there too many options available? With such a determined focus in not settling, are we unable to ever reach our dream destination?

I have always believed in not settling for myself but I wonder have I pushed people away in the moment for an unrealistic expectation in the future?

I am not saying you should settle. I believe happiness starts with loving yourself and taking the best care of yourself. That also means wanting the best for yourself.

But are the excess of options pushing us to overthink? Are we pushing away options before we have the chance to see how happy they could make us?

We don’t need to push away options because they may not be what we pictured as perfect. There is no way for you to know exactly what your dream looks like if you haven’t gotten there yet. 

There is always going to be a better looking guy. There is always going to be a better looking girl. There is always going to be someone more successful. The problem we face today is that these options are so easily accessible to everyone.

There are always going to be more people and more options.

Live in the moment. Peel yourself away from your phone. If you want to talk to someone do it in person. Interact with new people. Express yourself in any way you want.

Be grateful for all of the things you do have. Start writing a few done daily to give yourself that extra reminder.

Be open to what comes your way. Don’t drown yourself with worrying about tomorrow; 5 years from now, 10 years from now, and so on. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Make the best of it and love every second. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Order my book “Put The Damn Phone Down” available now on Amazon.

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