Although heartbreak stems from a number of reasons such as cheating, lying and dishonesty, there are occasions when the other person is upfront. Acting on feelings alone, we tend to ignore red flags in hopes of explanations and reasoning behind behaviors we should be completely acknowledging. Getting rejected is hard and completely sucks. It hurts and it is easier to ignore the feeling of disappointment and fill that void with hope. Don’t be delusional. Be aware and be conscious. Listen to red flags and steer clear.
You are always the first to make contact.
So you have your new fling and you are totally into him. He’s really fucking hot and knows what he’s doing. You like him so instinctively you want to see him. I get it. Now back it up. How many times have you contacted him? Now compare that to the number of times he has contacted you. Is there a huge difference?Is he contacting you a lot? Is he contacting you at all? People can smell desperation a mile away, don’t let your excitement get the best of you. If a guy want to see you, you will know. He will see you.
You have a feeling of uncertainty.
Listen to your gut. Do not let your emotions determine your behavior. If you have a feeling of uncertainty then you probably already sense the outcome of the situation. We tend to ignore red flags even when they are directly in front of us. It’s easier to remain optimistic rather than deal with the reality of the situation.
You don’t meet up sober.
We live in a culture where excessive drinking is quite common and relatively acceptable. Did you meet this fling when you were drunk? Every time thereafter do you meet sober or after a few drinks? If you need alcohol to see this person then there isn’t an actual relationship going on. You are two people having sex. That’s it. Sure it may mean more to you, but that doesn’t mean the other person will feel the same way.
You leave immediately after having sex.
Don’t be delusional. If you wake up, immediately have sex and then he sends you on your merry way use your brain. If he rolls over and jumps into the shower without a word, that is your queue to leave. If he’s already called the uber and tells you it’s waiting outside, he’s telling you to GTFO. If you let the behavior continue you are only burdening yourself to get further attached. He is sending the message that he just isn’t that into you and you are just an option for sex. By allowing it to continue you are sending the message that this is okay with you. He’s a guy therefore he probably won’t turn down having sex with you. Don’t let the act of sex mislead you to believe there is hope for more.
His friends leave you subtle hints.
If the people he’s closest to are even warning you, there is probably a reason why. This isn’t always a determining factor but definitely don’t ignore it either.
He tells you he doesn’t do relationships or doesn’t know how to be a boyfriend.
Listen to him, he’s just not that into you. He’s telling you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. He’s telling you he isn’t going to be your boyfriend. Listen and move forward. You aren’t going to change his mind. You can continue having sex with him, but that isn’t going to change a thing. Instinctively you grab onto hope and it’s a normal reaction. However this reaction is based on feeling and emotions. Let you head way in and quit while your ahead.