How To Date A Cancer

The Cancer, born June 22 to July 22, is a very home and family-oriented sign, so on your date suggest that you go to the Cancer’s favorite bar or restaurant – their Cheers, where everybody knows their name and secretly grumbles about them hogging the free Wi-Fi. As you get to know your Cancer, you’ll find that group dates aren’t entirely insane and middle school-esque, but actually a great way to bond with your Cancer love.

Cancers also love the water, so throw them in a pool or something. Trust me, they’ll thank you for it after they’re done cursing at you. Cancers can curse really well. Their animal sign is the crab, which means they can be prone to expert crabbiness. But just let them crab out; it won’t last.

They can also be overly sensitive. They might try to deny that but it’s really, really true. Don’t bring up past relationships when you’re on your date. They don’t want to go there. It’s like they took an epic bus ride very, very far away from “there”, and they’re not going back. Past loves are a very tender spot for Cancers. They’ll claim they’re over them, but if they’re over them, why are they talking about them so much? You certainly didn’t bring them up, so who did? That’s right, the Cancer did. Oops. They can’t help it. They’re just so open to all emotions. Like the sea they’re so fond of, emotions come in big, crashing waves over the Cancer. There’s nothing you can do about it other than let them ride the surf. (How are these ocean metaphors working for you? Should I stop? I think I’m gonna stop.)

Basically, what I’m saying is that they let their emotions take over, so don’t be surprised when this happens, and it will happen. The bright side of that is that they’re always worried about hurting other peoples’ feelings, unlike those steely Leos, AM I RIGHT, LEOS? Just kidding, Leos aren’t reading this; it’s not about them. Anyway, Cancers. Cancers will try to go out of their way to avoid hurting other people, but because they’re so consumed with their own feelings and emotions, they don’t always do the best job of it. So try not to take it personally. And don’t lash out at a Cancer and expect them to lash back – they’ll just cry.

When choosing your place for a date, don’t pick anything too expensive; Cancers tend to be thrifty. Not cheap – thrifty. They’re good at getting bargains and deals. Take a Cancer to a flea market and be amazed at the haul you wind up with.

If you and your Cancer date are walking down the street and happen upon a wounded animal, be prepared to go to the vet. Cancers care so much. Maybe even too much. But that all depends on what sign you are.