You’re such a ridiculously hard worker, you make everyone else feel like they’re slacking. This includes the boss! To call you a workhorse would be inaccurate, because you work so hard, even the horses get tired around you. You pay extreme attention to detail and exhibit a perfectionism that some will call neurotic and others would call insane. People learn to be punctual with you because they don’t ever want you to look at them that way again when they show up five minutes late.
Ambition is the blood that courses through your veins, and you don’t mind whose neck you step on while climbing the ladder of success. You let heads roll on your way to getting ahead. People learn quickly to either follow you or get out of your way, because you, girl, were born to lead.
You push yourself harder than any boss pushes you—so hard that you sometimes resent yourself like workers resent their bosses! You will not settle for a single mistake and will often have a task completed before even being asked to do it. The reason you work so hard is because you like being in charge, and your goal is to become so successful that one day you become your own boss—at which point you might fire yourself for being too lazy.
You Leo ladies get sort of a bad rep when it comes to being hard workers, which is why I’m moving you up to the coveted fourth spot here. Many of you work your fingers down to the bone, but it’s the slackers among you that spoil things for the rest. You have management skills mainly because you enjoy bossing people around. This is why you function far better as a boss than as a worker. The work week is sacred to you, which is why you’re only lazy at night and on weekends.
Since it’s every easy—too easy—for you to get caught up in office drama, you work far better alone than in groups. You have the determination of a long-distance runner, and you will sprint all the way to the sea to get a project done on time. You finish every project but you also never bite off more than you can chew, which can be frustrating for bosses who want to milk every last drop of work out of you.
People mistake the fact that you never waste effort for laziness. But you work slowly and methodically like a crab scuttling across a bumpy ocean floor. You’re actually more productive than people who make a point of looking like they’re working hard but are getting nothing done. You take all of your sick days and vacation time, but you generally meet your goals. Also, and I mean this in the nicest way possible—you’re not a pleasure to work around due to your, you know, crabbiness.
Are you a hard worker, or are you lazy? You’re a Gemini, so of course you can’t make up your mind! You start things but rarely finish them because you quickly lose interest and get easily distracted. You have days where you work with machinelike precision for fifteen hours, and then you have your lazy/hazy/crazy days. You’ll work just hard enough so you don’t get fired, but just lazily enough that you never get promoted.
Group-natured by orientation, you are a popular member on team projects. But it’s hard for you to get enthusiastic about working. You work hard—but you tire easily. Every year, without fail, you take every last minute of sick leave and vacation, and even the occasional workman’s comp claim if you’re feeling really creative.
It’s not that you hate to work so much as you love to play. When it comes to work, you need someone to push you—otherwise you are a sleeping bull snoring in your bullpen. You are not self-motivated in the slightest. The only thing you’re motivated to do is sleep. You enjoy your time sipping rum in a hammock under the sun and wish that was your full-time job. You’re easily distracted, which is why you stopped reading this mid-sentence to check your Facebook.
Unlike your namesake the fish, you are not always moving. You are very hard to train; it’s even harder to keep you on a steady routine. You are a pleasure to be around, but not a great teammate when it comes to getting the job done. You would rather stand around the water cooler gossiping. You can focus if something captures your interest, but that rarely happens. You’re easily bored and are always scratching yourself and yawning.
You like to work by yourself, for yourself—that is, when you like to work at all, which is rare. You are prone to throwing tantrums and walking off the job—not because the job sucks, but because you don’t want to work. The most work you’ve done over the last six months was spending three hours developing an Excel spreadsheet showing how it’s easier to collect unemployment and food stamps than it is to work.
I’m going to write this pretending as if you’re reading it, but everyone knows you’re still asleep. For you, a busy day involves setting the alarm and then pressing the snooze button over and over. You would rather go to jail than work a day job, because people don’t do much in jail.