Walking Away Is Simple, Staying Away Is The Hard Part
Reminding yourself why you left when you're feeling lonely is the hard part. Convincing yourself you did the right thing, even though you feel like you're falling apart inside, is the hard part.
You might decide to walk away in the heat of the moment. You might get fired up about the way your person has been treating you, pack your bags, and decide to leave. You might be 100% positive that getting the hell away from them is the right thing to do.
But that certainty isn’t going to last.
Your doubts might start a few days later. Or they might start before your hand even touches the doorknob. You might not even make it out of the house. You might replace your bags. You might decide to stay.
Even if you make it down the block, when you choose to leave someone toxic, you’re eventually going to start to second guess yourself. Your guilt is going to get the best of you. You’re going to regret leaving things a certain way. And you’re going to start to miss the good things about them, because you swear, they aren’t all bad. There’s good things about them. You fell in love with them for a reason. You’re still in love with them.
When you choose to leave someone toxic, you’re going to wonder whether you were acting out of emotion. You’re going to wonder whether you should give them another chance. You’re going to wonder what you’re going to do without them — emotionally and practically. Where are you going to sleep? Where are you going to live? How are you going to get by on your own?
Walking away when you’ve reached your angriest point is simple. Staying away is the hard part. Reminding yourself why you left when you’re feeling lonely is the hard part. Convincing yourself you did the right thing, even though you feel like you’re falling apart inside, is the hard part.
When you choose to leave someone toxic, unfortunately, walking away is only the first step. There’s so much more to it than that. You have to resist the temptation to text them, to apologize to them, to hear an explanation from them, to give another chance to them. You have to stick by your decision, even when other people try to change your mind, even when they call you ungrateful, even when they call you selfish.
When you choose to leave someone toxic, you cannot get sentimental. You cannot let your good memories sway your judgement. You cannot fight for a relationship that is completely draining you.
Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You have to stop caring about what the rest of the world thinks. You have to stop worrying about whether you’re going to hurt a person who has had no trouble hurting you time and time again. You have to consider yourself a real priority for a change.
Even when the pain is no longer fresh, you have to remember what they did to you. You have to remember why you walked away. You have to remember that, despite how much you miss them, they don’t deserve you. And they certainly don’t deserve another try. 