37 Toxic Mindsets That Are Going To Make You Miserable 

1. That anything but perfection is a failure. Progress is often incremental and takes time.

2. The idea that “resting is lazy.” Self-care is a somewhat new concept to most people, and humans suck at it. We focus on things that aren’t biologically sound – like dieting, exercising to failure, or working 80 hours a week – and totally ignore what we actually makes sense in regards to being healthier and more fulfilled.

3. “I can fix this person who has hurt me many times.”

4. “If you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Sometimes someone’s worst is an absolute deal-breaker and needing to cut ties and move on doesn’t mean that that person doesn’t deserve the good things that come from a better relationship.

5. “No days off.” Sometimes you need a mental health day or a break, and people make it sound like if you don’t work yourself into the ground you won’t be successful. Successful people know when to recharge. Just an annoying mindset.

6. Quitting is only for losers.

If you try something and don’t like it, why keep doing it? Why not allow yourself to switch to a better major or try a different sport or get a new job?

I mean, don’t quit everything once it gets hard, but why stay miserable for a “quitters never win” mentality? Get a job you LIKE. Do an activity you LIKE.

7. The view that you’re good enough the way you are. I know that may sound strange, but no one’s perfect and we can all change ourselves in a positive ways. This mindset does have its correct uses (such as coming out of an abusive relationship) but more and more I’m seeing it used to justify staying a worse person than who you could be.

8. That if a person doesn’t immediately text you back then they don’t love you.

9. If you don’t post about a tragedy or support something on social media, you are ok with or don’t support/care about said something.

10. Expecting everything instantly. Patience is a virtue. You’re not going to die if you have to wait in line.

11. “If something doesn’t work 100% of the time, it isn’t worth doing.”

People use this as an excuse to never do anything. Or to deny others from trying. It’s frustrating and holds us back as a species.

12. The concept that both fault and responsibility can only be 100% or 0% and that if someone else has some fault it absolves another of all responsibility.

13. That if you change your mind or opinion about something you’re being fake or phony.

14. If you don’t like someone, you must be just jealous.

15. If you don’t listen to every song or know everything about a band you are not a real fan.

16. If you’re not 100% with us, you’re 100% against us.

17. You’re entitled to speak your mind. You’re not entitled to have people listen, comply, or care.

18. That you need to stay in contact with all of your family members even though some of them are incredibly toxic.

19. Everybody that doesn’t get along with you or agree with you is “toxic.” People are starting to expect being around nobody but people that agree with them, like a constant feedback bubble on social media, but in real life.

20. Saying “no offense” before saying something offensive won’t automatically make your comment less offensive.

21. That if you don’t like something (like a movie or video game) it means it’s bad. C’mon people, grow up already.

22. Assuming that people are not allowed to change their opinions or values over time, and judging people, famous or not, for comments made decades ago. Yes, some people have patterns of problematic comments and behavior and should not be ignored. But it also makes sense that, for example, a politician may have learned more about abortion or healthcare or what have you and be able to change their stance. We are not the same people at 25 and 50.

23. Broadcasting everything on social media…

24. “My opinion is as good as your evidence.”

25. Stop comparing traumas. It’s not a fucking competition. Learn to have empathy and take care of each others’ mental health.

26. Something I notice in the gym is the “No pain, no gain!” mentality is rampant. It is good to feel soreness and tightness after and during your workout, but working yourself to pain hinders your progress immensely. Crossfit takes this to an extreme, encouraging people to workout until total failure which can result in severe injury. Working out shouldn’t be painful. One wrong tear and you’re toast.

27. That just because someone is “trying to help” doesn’t mean you can’t tell them to stop.

28. That showing emotion makes you weak, especially men.

29. Telling kids, especially young girls, that others only pick on them because they’re jealous of them or fancy them. That is how you teach your kids that people abuse you because they like you. It needs to stop.

3o. “I can’t change anything so I’m not going to try it.”

31. That we should have unconditional love for our relatives. Bitch, if you hurt me enough, why should I even like you?

32. “Butt in seat” mentality at white collar office-type jobs. If you do your job at a computer there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to work from home. Then attendance is not as important as just getting work done, and it eliminates the need for commuting, which eases traffic and pollution.

33. There is this whole work culture expectation now of always being reachable by email or text for whatever happens. A lot of places expect, and at times demand, that you be pretty much on call even when you’re not at the office anymore.

There should be some level of balance between work and personal life and I feel like that is fading because so many places are adapting this type of culture and mentality, especially start-ups.

34. People who oppose good things because ‘I struggled through it and so should you!’ instead of thinking ‘good, nobody should go through that if possible.’

35. Alcoholism being romanticized. No, it’s pretty terrible to be honest.

36. A life without children is empty and worthless.

I am confident that I would be a terrible parent, and no it won’t change, and no my life will not suffer because of it. It is better to have that insight and avoid parenthood that have kids you resent, mistreat, or are unprepared for.

37. “I read about it on the internet, therefore it’s true!” My grandma does this all the time to “prove” her argument and it always ends up being from some Buzzfeed article. Drives me fucking nuts.