I Think It’s Time We Apologize For Loving Each Other The Wrong Way

It wasn’t until someone asked me, “What are the ways someone can show you that they love you?” that I stopped to think about how we love one another. And until then, I had no idea that you could show love to someone in the wrong way. And then I realized that while I thought that I was doing everything I could to show love to my loved ones, I realized, maybe they need a different kind of love. A love that I’m not used to giving or receiving. And if I truly want to show them love that they feel, then I need to stop focusing on what I think love means or looks like, and start exploring what it looks like for them. And maybe even more importantly, maybe I need to stop getting upset when they don’t recognize my acts of love as love.

Maybe this person doesn’t know how to accept the type of love that I give.

I’m sorry for giving you space when you really needed to just share in the silence together.

I’m sorry for trying to solve the problem, when you really just wanted someone to listen.

I’m sorry for not recognizing the small acts that meant so much to you and went unnoticed by me.

I’m sorry for not reciprocating those acts for you.

I’m sorry I didn’t notice the effort and time you took to show me your love, even if I didn’t understand it.

I’m sorry for forcing you to talk about it when you needed to process everything first.

I’m sorry for stifling your growth, even if I didn’t mean to.

I’m sorry that my attempt to show empathy and be relatable came off as self-centered.

I’m sorry for giving you a hug when you wanted space.

I’m sorry that you didn’t feel understood because my response was not what you needed.

I’m sorry for not saying the right things, or not saying anything at all.

I’m sorry for not giving you my undivided attention.

I’m sorry for not being your rock when you wanted to crumble.

I’m sorry for asking you to be my rock when you were unable to live up to that responsibility.

I’m sorry for trying to push you to grow when you just wanted to be still for a moment.

I’m sorry that the timing is never right for us to be vulnerable with one another.

I’m sorry that you didn’t feel appreciated.

I’m sorry for not helping you. I didn’t understand how hard it is for you to ask for help and not recognizing just how much you do.

I’m sorry for turning to someone else instead of giving you a chance to love me differently.

I’m sorry we didn’t work out simply because our styles of love were imbalanced. When things, no matter how small, go unnoticed, and words go unsaid, resentment, confusion, anger and sadness start to grow. We turn inwards and we tell ourselves to let go. We could have held on. We could have tried again and learned to love, to understand on a deeper level, and to reach out of our comfort zone and acknowledge the love we are receiving and adapt the love that we are giving.

I’m sorry I left the small things go unnoticed, and words go unsaid. I’m sorry I let the anger and the sadness grow. I’m sorry that I let go before giving you another chance. I’m sorry I couldn’t hold on any longer.

And I’m sorry that we didn’t love each other the way we needed to be loved.