9 Signs It’s An Almost Relationship (So You Can Get The Hell Out Now)

1. He’s Resisting A Label

This one seems pretty obvious but it’s surprising how many girls somehow fail to hear a guy when he tells them he, doesn’t want to put a label on it just yet’ or that ‘labels ruin things’. Sure, not being official boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple of months is fine but, if after six or seven months, he still gets twitchy when you broach the subject, then leave. Men have a habit of going after what they want, they are known for it. Note I use the word “man”, because only boys like to mess with a girl’s heart whilst they fuck around behind their back. If he doesn’t want to become official then he doesn’t deserve the honor of calling himself your boyfriend anyway.

2. It Isn’t Facebook Official

Personally, I still think the whole “Facebook Official” thing is ridiculous but, a guy’s social media tells the entire world, well, the entirety of his female contacts, whether he is still available or not. If you find yourself asking him why he hasn’t accepted the tag of the cute photo of you two or your check-in at the little romantic restaurant by the river, it’s because he’s afraid it will scare off other potential hook-ups and “almost” girlfriends. If a guy is loyal to you and into you and wants to be with you, then he wants the world to know that too. And ask yourself, do you really want to wait around for a guy who wants to keep you hidden?

3. He’s Still In Contact With Exes and Other Women

If his phone is constantly going off whilst you’re together and he isn’t checking it, it’s probably because it’s another girl. No, “Beth” is not just a friend from work, “Katie” is not just some girl from school who ‘won’t leave him alone’, girls don’t usually keep bugging a guy unless they are getting some form of interest or response. If he has nothing to hide then he will happily let you see who is hitting his phone up; he won’t immediately begin to reply as you leave the room. If you ask him if he is still talking to other girls and he gives a vague, ‘No, not really’, then he most definitely is. If he was serious about moving forward with you, he would leave the past in the past, not keep them holding on just-in-case the two of you don’t work out.

4. He Doesn’t Want To Meet The Family/Friends

If he avoids inviting you to family gatherings or drinks with his friends, telling you ‘You would just find it boring’, it’s because he’s trying to avoid explaining to them who you are and what you are to him. Likewise, if he always has an excuse for not being your +1 to family occasions or friends’ birthdays, it’s because he’s terrified you will introduce him as your boyfriend. If a guy wants to be in a relationship with you then he will want you to meet the important people in his life and meet the important people in yours. He would want to show you off, gush over you and make everyone insanely jealous of how loved-up and happy he is. Do not wait around for someone who wants to keep you separate from his life, you are better than that.

5. He Won’t Let You Stay Over More Than Twice In A Row

If he has some weird sleeping-over rule, then seriously, get out now. If a guy starts freaking out about needing his own space or “things moving too quickly” because you have stayed over more than once that week, pack up your damned stuff and don’t go back. Relationships don’t come with sleeping rules; you should date a guy who pulls you back into bed and kisses you on the nose as you both sink beneath the sheets for a few more hours, a guy who thinks up reasons for you to remain with him, whether you stayed there the night before or not. Not someone who is clearly waiting to wash the sheets for whoever he happens to meet at the club that night.

6. He Won’t “Court” You

If a guy holds off on anything remotely romantic or “boyfriend-like”, it’s because he’s terrified you will cling on to him, start planning your wedding day and already be picking out baby names. If you’re regularly sleeping with a guy and hanging out with him then you deserve to be romanced and made to feel special. The only reason a guy would hold out on acting like a boyfriend in terms of planning cute dates, showering you with compliments and cooking you pancakes for breakfast, is because he isn’t sure about you yet. If he behaves like a proper boyfriend then you might start calling him one and he absolutely doesn’t want that. Note to self- you’re way too beautiful and too smart to accept that kind of bullshit behaviour.

7. He Freaks Out When You Talk About Feelings

If you even mention missing him or being excited to see him and he responds with some kind of half-ass emoticon or a joke, he doesn’t care about you. A boyfriend loves to hear that he’s missed and that you can’t wait until your weekend together, he doesn’t freak out and make you feel stupid. You should be able to talk about your feelings without being made to feel vulnerable and clingy. The only reason guys behave this way is because they are uncomfortable and scared, and therefore not ready to be in a committed relationship with you. If you notice any kind of twitchy behaviour when you say even the smallest of cutesy things, run a mile.

8. He Won’t Let You See Him When He’s Sick

Most of us love being looked after by our boyfriend or girlfriend when are sick, whether that just means them making us cups of tea, running a hot bubble bath or rubbing our back whilst watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. There’s something comforting about having your person there with you when you’re feeling unwell, so if he tells you not to come over when he is sick because he’s “gross” and “grumpy”, then he probably isn’t in it for the long-haul. He shouldn’t care if you see him at his worst because he knows what you feel for him is about more than just his looks or how he is when he’s happy. Likewise, if he refuses to come over and care for you when you’re sick, it’s because he doesn’t want to see you as anything other than the “hot girl” he fancies. If his feelings for you were on a deeper level, he wouldn’t be able to stay away and he wouldn’t want anyone else to be looking after you.

9. He’s Just Come Out Of A Serious Relationship

Most men take a long time to truly get over a serious relationship, whether they confess to that or not. The thing is, he will probably tell you this- that he isn’t ready, whilst continuing to flirt with you and text you and have sex with you, because well, you’re gorgeous and fun to hang out with. But if he still can’t talk about his ex without getting upset, angry or shutting down completely then he isn’t over her. If he keeps telling you that he wants to “take things slowly”, then listen to him. Slowly to him probably means a year, whilst to you it may mean a few months. Just stay out of a guy’s way if his last relationship crashed and burned. – He will enjoy the chase you provide, he will enjoy the feel of your body next to his at night, he will enjoy doing all of the boyfriend/girlfriend things he used to do with her, but he will never be ready to fully commit. You will end up falling in love and he will end up moving on from you when he’s gotten over her and used you to do so.