We hear so much talk about how women need to be independent but very little about what that actually means.
It means you can manage being alone without ever being lonely.
It means you want to be with other people but don’t need to be with other people.
It means you can be considerate without being submissive.
It means you make friends rather than follow them.
It means you start trends rather than follow them.
It means that you don’t need someone else’s approval so much that you would ever swallow your own pride.
It means you can be happy all by yourself without anyone else’s assistance.
It means you can seek advice without letting other people make decisions for you.
It means having to ask whether that dress makes you look fat.
It means you’re 100% self-supporting even though you may have a huge network of love and support.
It means can give all of yourself to someone without losing any of yourself—not even one little tiny bit.
It means you don’t need to ask anyone for money, but you’ve been so good to your friends you know that you can if things get tough.
It means that rely on your own instincts rather than what people tell you.
It means that no one can shame you about not having children—or of having children—because that’s not their goddamned choice and never will be.
It means realizing where the outside world ends and your own body begins.
It means that saying “No’ actually means saying “HELL, no,” and woe unto anyone who doesn’t respect that.
It means knowing the difference between enjoying when someone pampers you and needing someone to coddle you.
It means you brush your own teeth, cook your own dinner, and make your own money.
It means being willing to help others, but only after you’ve taken care of yourself.
It means you can enjoy friends, lovers, and family without depending on them.
It means you can clean up your own mess, thank you very much, but you’re not obligated to clean up anyone else’s.
It means you never fish for compliments, because you’re OK with yourself. Compliments are nice, but you’d be perfectly happy just knowing you’re the best.
It means you’re perfectly able to give without taking and to take without giving.
It means that you know the difference between kindness and weakness, which is why you never let anyone exploit your kindness.
It means you know the difference between being strong and being overbearing, which is why you’re never overbearing and you never tolerate anyone who is—because you’re strong.
It means that if your path is filled with roadblocks, you either drive through them or find another road.
It means you’d rather do things your own way than the way you’re supposed to.
It means you never let them get you down, because that would bring you down to their level.
It means you didn’t really need me to tell you any of this, because you already knew. Now go out there, girl, and start kicking asses, taking names, and giving them hell. 
