Someone asked me this question recently and the truth is: I don’t know. But it did get me thinking. I’ve had my fair share of relationships and most of the time, I always saw the guy I was with as potentially being “The One.” More often than not, I turned out to be wrong.

I guess the truth is that you never know if someone is “The One” or not. You just trust that you fell in love with them for a reason and maybe one day that reason will become clear to you. But if you consistently doubt if the person you’re with is “The One,” you’ll probably never find “The One.”

To be honest, the whole idea of “The One” seems silly to me. Why are we so caught up in trying to find the perfect soul mate? Maybe everyone we meet is a little bit of us, or at least the ‘us’ that we needed at that time. My first love was childish, innocent – exactly what I was at that point in my life. Looking back, I don’t know how we were together or why we were, but at that point in my life, it made sense – we made sense.

Maybe there isn’t just that one “The One” but rather multiple “The Ones.” Maybe we meet “The One” at different stages of our lives and they are “The One” for that moment, but they won’t always be “The One.” There’s nothing wrong with thinking that the boy you’re with right now could be “The One.” Maybe he is, and maybe he isn’t.

But how can you find Forever if you’re always looking for the end?

This isn’t about getting the timing wrong, meeting the right people at the wrong time. It’s about growing. We are constantly changing as people, growing, learning, experiencing, and living. Sometimes we just grow apart, other times we learn together. Meeting Forever doesn’t mean you’ve stopped growing, because you never stop. But perhaps, it will be a different sort of living.

I think when it’s time, Forever will just show up in the most random of ways. Forever will probably start out as one of “The Ones.” Just one of the other boys you thought things were going to work out with, that you would have that picket fence and that happily ever Forever with. Just one of the other boys you built dreams with, who left you high and dry.

Maybe Forever will show up one day, when you least expect it. He’ll walk through your front door after a long day of work, disheveled and even a little grumpy.

And you’ll find home in him.