28 Things I Have Learned In 28 Years

1. Taking care of yourself isn’t something to shy away from. There’s no honor in burning the candle at both ends. You deserve to treat yourself well, to take care of yourself. And doing what you need to take care of yourself is not only something to actually do, it’s something to prioritize.

2. You are not required to like everyone. You don’t even have to have a reason for not liking them. Not liking someone or not wanting to have them in your life does not make you mean or a bad person. It’s okay to just not like someone, they can find other friends.

3. But you do need to treat them to basic politeness and courtesy, even when you don’t feel like they deserve it. Unless someone has done something that warrants negativity, you are not entitled to just be mean for the sake of being mean.

4. Love honestly isn’t everything. It’s great, sure. But it’s not everything. You can be a whole person even without being in love. In fact, you should be a whole person whether or not you’re in love. Letting go of the obsession with love isn’t pessimistic. It’s freeing.

5. If you want to eat it, just fucking eat it. What you put into your body is literally only your business. If you want to eat a ball of mozzarella like a damn apple, have at it. You deserve better than obsessing over food.

6. But like, also eat green things now and then. Sometimes you need to put down the chips and eat something that grew out of the ground. Eat a salad every once in a while, you can even put mozzarella on it. Practicing moderation is one of the kindest things you can do to yourself.

7. There are still people out there who only value you based on your bank account. And they fucking suck. Period, end of discussion.

8. But your money, is no one’s business but your own. If you don’t feel like talking about your salary, your side hustle, or your finances with someone, you do not have to. And if they make some sort of stink about it that’s honestly their problem. You don’t owe anyone anything, including disclosure.

9. We don’t deserve dogs. They love us unconditionally and purely and they’re the best thing on the planet. I would take a bullet for my dog.

10. That whole “all of your cells shed and change over seven years” thing is pretty true. There’s something very comforting about the fact that biologically, you’ll eventually be a completely new person. And if you don’t have to hang onto those cells, you don’t have to hang onto the person who they used to be a part of if you don’t want to. It’s more than okay to move on.

11. Lying isn’t cute. Lying is weak, pathetic, childish, and cowardly. There’s nothing good about making the choice to lie.

12. And people will almost always see right through you. People will always figure it out. And they’ll think differently about you. Just be honest. It might be more difficult, but it’s absolutely the better option.

13. Popping blisters really does make them worse. It’s satisfying but then they like, get really scabby and unfortunate. Just put a bandaid on and leave them ALONE for god’s sake.

14. If people don’t ask for your opinion, you really don’t need to give it. Because, fun fact, if they wanted your opinion they would’ve asked for it! Unsolicited advice is just a fun phrase to stick in front of cheeky advice columns on websites. It’s not something anyone actually wants.

15. People can’t read your mind. And more than that, they don’t want to. Everyone is busy, everyone has places to be. Adding in “guessing what you’re thinking” isn’t exactly something someone wants to put on their to do. Never assume that someone knows what’s going on with you. That’s a special kind of selfish.

16. If you’re nice to flight attendants they will almost always give you a free glass of wine. And nothing beats a glass of pinot (either grigio or noir) while you’re flying.

17. You will probably never stop wanting to impress certain people. Even in your late twenties there will still be people who you feel like you have to be cool around. You’ll want them to think a certain way about you and it will completely shift how you act when you’re around them. It’s normal. And the great equalizer is that they have people that do the exact same thing to them.

18. Life is too short for boring hair. If you want to dye your hair pink, dye your hair pink. But like…pay someone to do it. Yes it’s expensive but it will ALWAYS look better and be better for your hair.

19. When people tell you who they are, believe them. If you knew it was a snake, why would you pick it up?

20. You’re probably not as weird as you think. Literally everyone is fucking bizarre. Stop using “I’m just weird!!” as a defining personality trait. Because if you really were as weird as you think, you’d probably be able to come up with something slightly more original than relying on “weird.”

21. The internet is an amazing, wonderful tool that we’ve been given. So use it. No one is giving out any medals for yet another essay about how much better life is when you disconnect and look at the leaves or whatever. You’ve got this amazing informational tool, use it to your advantage.

22. Your heroes are just people. They cry, they stub their toes, they lose things, they get sick, they get rejected, sometimes they’re boring, they’ve probably picked their nose. Everyone is just trying to be a person.

23. Every now and then, timing throws you a bone. And it’s pretty cool when it happens.

24. People don’t really respond to being yelled at. In fact, it usually gets the opposite of what you want, which is (ironically) to be heard. If you want someone to listen to you, you have to try to lead with patience. Yell on the inside and in the group text, not at people.

25. Skincare is really fucking expensive but so, so, worth it. After actually investing in my skin, I will literally never go back. You can pry my lactic acid and my sheet masks from my cold, dead hands!

26. Read the terms and conditions, your contracts, and anything that you’re agreeing to before clicking “I agree” or signing on the dotted line. You’ll save yourself a lot of embarrassment when you try to contest to something that you did, in fact, agree to and even more than that, by reading them you’re actually being an advocate for yourself. Have your own back. Don’t assume anyone is going to have it for you.

27. Your life is going to get exponentially less frustrating when you stop believing that you are entitled to anything from people. No one owes you shit. Not even their time. If that’s disappointing that sucks but it’s reality. Letting go of expectations on other people is not only freeing for them, but for you. You will be a million times more content when you stop believing that you should be able to expect things from other people.

28. And even more so, it’s going to get exponentially better when you learn to really listen. You can’t learn without listening and you can’t grow without learning, and you should want to grow.