I don’t think any amount of time without you can make the fact that you’re missing from all of the most important moments my life any easier. No matter where this life takes me, it is clear that something very important is missing, and that super important something is you. If you were still alive, everything would be different. If you were still alive, everything would be better.

If you were still alive, I would always have someone to call. I would have my biggest supporter, and the person who cheered me on no matter what life threw my way. I would always have someone to tell about my day and I would have a person there to pick up the pieces, every time I needed that.

If you were still alive, I would still have my best friend. I would have the person who knew all of my secrets. My confident. The person, who I was able to go to with anything and everything and know that whatever I said, stayed between the two of us. I’d have someone to lie in bed with at night, telling stories and laughing about my day. I would have the person who always wanted to hear what I had to say, listened and gave me the best advice.

If you were still alive, I would feel much less alone. I wouldn’t know what it was like to navigate this world without you. I wouldn’t be feeling this missing piece that I don’t know how to go on without. I wouldn’t be left here wondering how to get through some of life’s most difficult moments without my favorite person.

If you were still alive, you’d get to be there for all of my accomplishments. You would be front row to my graduation, by my side on my wedding day, and watching my children be born and grow up. You wouldn’t miss a moment. You would be the most proud that you have ever been, every single time a new milestone came up.

If you were still alive, you’d be so proud. You’d be so proud of how far that I have come. You would be beaming with joy of how much I have accomplished and how I continue to grow. I would do anything for you to see this.

If you were still alive, life would seem much more fair. Not for a second did it seem fair the way that you were taken from us. And not for a day since has it made any sense when you don’t get to be here. If you were still here, we would never have to know the pain and loss that comes from losing someone way too young, and seeing how unfair life can truly be.

If you were still alive, life would be so much better. I wouldn’t have to feel the pain that has come from your absence. I wouldn’t have to wonder how much different things would be without you. I would not need to struggle every day with the fact that you are gone and be left unsure how to continue moving forward. I would still have my best friend, my biggest fan and the greatest gift that this life has ever given me.