21 Things I Regularly Do In My Late Twenties That Would Make 21-Year-Old Me Cringe

1. I frequently go out and drink a glass (or two…or three) of wine at the little shop below my apartment whilst wearing sweatpants. I guess technically you could call them “joggers” but honestly, I know I’m not fooling anyone nor am I trying to.

2. I don’t care about height when it come to romantic possibilities. I used to insist that I needed to feel small, to feel tiny. But now, I just want someone who makes me laugh. That’s about it.

3. I absolutely never wear my hair down. Like…ever.

4. But I’m Draco Malfoy blonde again after having everyone in North Dakota tell me that it made me look washed out and like a vampire in 2006.

5. My favorite thing to do on the weekends in lay in bed while drinking a cup of almost black coffee, and read the paper. I do read it on my computer…but still.

6. Almost weekly I shop for different frames of glasses rather than suck it up and get contacts or save for lasik because honestly, I feel more myself in glasses at this point.

7. I wake up before 9:30 AM. Every day. Even on the weekends.

8. And am actually productive in the mornings usually either working out, going for a long walk with my dog, showering, doing some cleaning, or catching up on emails instead of just mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and watching random videos I don’t actually care about.

9. I eat carrots and cauliflower and spinach. Regularly. And don’t whine about how being healthy is such a pain in the ass. (At least usually…)

10. I wear crewneck t-shirts. I used to believe crewnecks made me look like a soccer mom or gave me a uni-boob. And maybe they do, but I’m too busy rocking this “Girl Power” tee to frankly, give a shit.

11. Sending thank you notes is something I’ve started taking very seriously. I was a super asshole when I was younger and would always forget or send them way too late. But after sending my cousin a grad card with some actual cash to it, I’ve realized what they mean. And now I’m very into the thank you note game.

12. Moisturizing is something I prioritize almost above sleep or eating carbs.

13. I openly refer to myself as bisexual instead of just “down for whatever” when people ask. I think they call that coming out? Eh, who knows.

14. I write down budgets in my planner and schedule when I’m going to pay what bills and how much they’ll be. I even color coordinate them, because I am a loser.

15. I’ve realized I’m a loser. And it’s fine.

16. I wear a backpack out. Because I am a loser. And fine with it. No shame.

17. I try my best to floss at least once a day because I’ve developed a huge fear of gum disease and would like to do my best to combat it as much as possible.

18. I have gone to not one, not two, but three concerts where I’ve seriously considered putting in ear plugs so that I could still step touch and bop while watching an listening at a more comfortable decibel level.

19. I don’t ghost people anymore. Instead, I’m honest with them. Yes, even when it makes them mad at me. Yes, even when it results in them wanting to “talk things out” with me. Because ultimately, that makes me feel better about me.

20. I don’t drink hard liquor on the week nights anymore. EVER.

21. The last time I gave a fuck what someone thought about me? I was 21. So now I know that was a waste of my time.