To My Fellow Women: Stay Single Until You Die Alone

Stay single until you meet a man who earns the right to call you his.

Stay single until you meet a man who wants to know more about YOU.

Stay single until you meet a man who will make you be a better person every single day.

Stay single until you meet a man who holds open every door and brings your mother flowers as a thank you for raising such a beautiful, intelligent, kind daughter.

Stay single until you meet a man who makes you actually not want to be single because you want to be with him, not just because you want to be with someone and you are worried something is wrong with you.

Stay single until you meet a man who puts as much effort into the relationship as you do.

Stay single until you meet a man who who makes you feel understood.

Stay single until you meet a man who wants to barf next to you in a trashcan after reading breathtakingly stupid shit on the internet.

Stay single until you meet a man who thinks women are human beings!

Realize that men like this don’t exist.

Realize that’s probably okay.

Get a bunch of girlfriends and sleep in the same bed watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu.

Seems better, tbh.