The Honest Truth About The Girl Who Is ‘Just Friends’ With Guys

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When you’re the girl who is “just friends” with guys, there is this misconceived notion there is something wrong with you that it’s never more.

They assume you got friend zoned by another guy that just didn’t feel the same way.

When you’re the girl who is “just friends” with guys there’s this assumption you simply pine after people who don’t want you.

When you’re the girl who is “just friends” with guys everyone thinks they know the whole story as they watch bits and pieces play out.

But as the girl who is “just friends” with guys there’s a lot spectator don’t know and she likes it that way.

What they don’t see is how often her phone blows up with a long list of guys names in her inbox.

All engaging in deep conversations because she’s their favorite person to talk to.

What those people don’t see is how nothing is really that complicated or some mystery to her. She knows the relationship. She respects it. She isn’t pining after something but simply taking it for what it is and not needing to demand more.

What they don’t see is how she really gets treated. While many play games and mess with girls heads these guys wouldn’t dare do it with her.

She knows the best type of game to play is one you don’t play at all.

Every text gets answered without having to think twice.

Every mistake comes with an apology before she even has to confront them about it.

Every door is opened. Every chair is pulled out. Every bill is paid for without her having to touch her wallet ever in his presence.

The honest truth about girls who are “just friends” with guys are these guys treat her like gold and would do anything she asks them to.

What people don’t see about the girl who is “just friends” with guys are the private conversations of whispers in her ear saying how much they love her, how much she means and how beautiful she is to them.

What they see is her reaching for his hand in public. A kiss on the cheek. Obvious signs of affection they don’t think are reciprocated from afar.

They don’t see the private dinners and flowers just because.

They don’t see him introducing her to his family, knowing very well everyone will love her and he’ll hear about it later. His mother will tell him everything he already knows about how she’s different than the rest.

And his mom will watch them knowing very well there’s something there no one but her can see.

What people don’t see is the time they spend alone walking and holding hands. Laughing until it hurts. Confiding in each other as friends do but it’s deeper than that.

It’s the coffee dates where she runs out the door saying she’s meeting “a friend.” It’s the intense eye contact as she stares and he’s wondering what she’s thinking.

It’s walking away with a kiss that comes so easy and natural to her. And every time she goes he watches her leave and she knows it.

What people don’t see are the nights together where shadows become one and silence and innocent kissing always turns into a little more.

What people hear are the conversations as she and 4 AM are the keeper of every secret. The ones he can’t even admit to himself sometimes.

There is something about her he trusts. Where he questions everyone and everything, with her he’s never had to. She’s the most honest person he knows.

What people don’t see are the mornings together as he wakes up holding her not wanting her to leave but being afraid to admit it.

And that’s the thing about people who are “just friends.” They are terrified to admit what is there. But she isn’t. She sees it.


He looks at her because everything she’s shown him is exactly who she is. There is a fear of someone that confident. There is fear of having everything you’ve ever wanted right in front of you. It paralyzes you in a way.

And she’s too polite to ask for more. So she takes what she gets with a smile. Because it is enough.

The thing people don’t understand about the girl who is “just friends” with guys is she doesn’t lack love in her life. It just comes in a different form that isn’t socially acceptable to flaunt because there isn’t a label to it. There isn’t some box you can put it in.
So everyone says, “just friends.” And she’ll smile because the truth is it’s so much more than that.

The truth is she has more guys willing to go to bat for her than most.

And sure she’s seen rejection more times than not.

Boys who weren’t ready for someone like her.

But in time, they all came around. Dressed up with an apology wanting to be everything she needed. And they’ll compliment her and she’ll smile ever so coy, just because it took them a little longer to realize something she already knew.

The girl who is “just friends” with guys ultimately wins in the end.

Because they either realize her value before it’s too late and do something or have to watch someone else who didn’t need so much time.

And when that happens and she’s no longer the bed they can crawl into or the date and conversation they miss, it’ll be then they realize what they could have had.

Be wary of the girl who is “just friends” with guys because it’s never the case. It’s never that simple.
Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com

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