If You Feel Insecure, You Are In The Wrong Relationship

You have a long list of insecurities. The size of your forehead. The width of your thighs. The flab on your waist. But that’s normal. Everyone hates bits and pieces of themselves.

Finding your forever person isn’t going to instantly change how hard you cringe when you look in the mirror. Unfortunately, a boy can’t magically make you love yourself.

But a boy can make you hate yourself.

You’ll feel the ugliest around boys that aren’t interested. Boys that send mixed signals. Boys that act like they couldn’t care less whether you stay in their life or left.

You’ll wonder why he isn’t giving you his full attention. Are you too heavy for him? Too pimply? Too tall? Too short?

When you’re with the wrong boy, you never let yourself relax. Your mind is always spinning, silently criticizing every word you say, every gesture you make.

Before you leave for a date, you check the mirror ten times and the scale twenty. Because you don’t think you’re good enough for him. Because you believe he’s out of your league. Because he makes you feel like you have to work for his love.

When you’re with the wrong boy, all of the insecurities you’ve had since childhood become magnified. You used to be self-conscious about your weight, but now you obsess over losing it. You used to be embarrassed about your laugh, but now you force yourself to keep a straight face so he never has to hear it.

You can’t enjoy yourself, even during sex, because you have trouble focusing on the moment. You’re too busy worrying about whether your skin is smooth enough, whether your body smells nice, whether your breasts are the same exact size.

You think he’s judging you. You think he’s staring at every flaw, deciding if he should stay with you of find someone better.

It’s normal to have insecurities, to stress over impressing a boy that you really like, but it’s unhealthy to torment yourself over it. It’s unhealthy to stay with someone that makes you feel like you’re a horrible person, like you have nothing to give.

He shouldn’t make you hate yourself a little more each day by ignoring texts or neglecting to compliment you or flirting with the waitress. He shouldn’t make you doubt your worth.

If you stay up nights, crying into your pillowcase because you have a feeling that he’s cheating, you’re with the wrong boy.

If he thinks you look unattractive with sweatpants or uncurled hair, you’re with the wrong boy.

If you injure yourself at the gym because you’re pushing your body too hard — because you have a feeling he’s going to leave you if you gain more weight — you’re with the wrong boy.

If you’re more insecure now than you’ve ever been before, you’re with the wrong boy.