The Best Thing I Ever Did Was Leave

I was torn; the last thing I wanted to do was leave because I was scared of the unknown. I didn’t know what was ahead of me if I packed up and left, but I knew it was something I had to do. I knew if I wanted to grow then leaving would be the best thing for me, so I left.

Leaving isn’t always a bad thing, but we talk about it like it is. We treat leaving like it automatically coincides with running away from something. But instead of running away from our old lives were reaching for something better because we know there is more out there for us.

I wanted to grow, but instead I was placing myself into the hands of people who didn’t want to see me change because that meant things would be different. I wanted to help others, but instead I was surrounding myself with people who only talked about others in a negative manner. I wanted to find myself, but instead I was having the same conversations walking up and down the same set of stairs everyday.

So I had to leave.

I wanted to find love, but instead I was placing my heart into the hands of guys who could never appreciate my love. I was giving parts of me to people who didn’t want any of me. I was forcing myself to believe I was happy so I didn’t have to be alone. I was dulling myself down in order to fake like they could make me laugh.

So I had to leave.

I wanted to travel, but instead I was driving up and down the same streets waving to the same neighbors. I was waiting on people who liked the idea, but would never fully commit. I was clinging to the idea that I couldn’t do it alone because I was scared.

So I had to leave.

And once I left, I started growing.

The flowers I knew I always had inside of me finally started budding. The love I wanted to share with the world started slowly, but surely seeping through the cracks of my heart.

I’m finding myself more and more everyday, especially on the bad days.

I wanted to find myself in the world, but waiting for others would get me nowhere, so I decided to go alone. I decided to spend time on my own. I won’t lie to you and convince you there haven’t been bad days. There are days you feel defeated, like you threw away something good for something that’s leaving you empty and filled with heartache. But that heartache you’re feeling means you’re following your dreams and for every bad day you experience there will be 10 better days to follow.

Leaving doesn’t mean we are running from our problems, it simply means we’re cutting out the parts of our lives that could no longer ensure us happiness.

I learned all I could from the places I called home and it was time to move forward onto bigger and better things.

I needed new inspirations and new feelings of freedom. I needed new places to gain energy from and new relationships to form.

There was no room left for growth were I was, so I had to leave and leaving was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.