11 Needy Things Independent Women Don’t Ever Ask Of Men

Updated 10 years ago, March 12, 2015

Disclaimer: I sure as hell don’t have this whole “making a relationship” work thing figured out. But if I’ve learned anything from past relationships (and from observing others) it’s that certain requests made to your male counterpart should be off-limits – especially the ones that are total power moves, put your own insecurities out on display, or are just downright annoying. Here are a list of 11 things no good strong would ever ask her man to do. Like, ever.

1. Fight her battles for her.

Sure, feeling safe with your partner is a must but that doesn’t mean he should step in when it comes to a disagreement you’re having with a friend (or worse, his friends). Creating drama just so that your BF can come to your rescue is weak and unnecessary.

2. “Prove” his obedience.

It’s one thing to ask your partner to pick up a box of feminine products if you’re in dire need and he’s already stopping at the store. It’s another to send him in there for just that when you’re completely capable of securing your own, just so you can tell your girlfriends that he actually went through with it. (This also goes for purse holding in public, ladies.)

3. Make him tell her which of her friends he finds attractive.

Some of you are probably like, well, duh, but I’ve heard this conversation happen between couples time and time again. Why on earth do you want this information out of your man? It serves no purpose, and the poor guy can’t win. If he tells you which friend he likes the most, you’ll hold it against him. If he tells you they’re all just okay, he’s insulting your home girls.

4. Force him to spend less time with his friends.

You don’t understand why he wants to spend 8 hours wearing a headset playing a videogame where he destroys monsters with his bros every Sunday. Well guess what? He probably doesn’t understand what the heck you and your girlfriend could have possibly been doing for the five hours you spent shopping for your new spring wardrobe. As long as he’s still making time to spend with you, let him do his thing when the two of you are apart, even if you don’t understand why he enjoys it so much.

5. Invite her to every single social event on his calendar.

Your partner has a life outside of the one you share together, as he should. Getting uptight over his lack of invite to the happy hour he’s headed to with his co-workers, or not being asked to spend football Sunday at the local sports bar with his boys just makes you look pretty damn insecure.

6. Talk ‘girl talk’ with her.

When women get together, they talk about everything. When guys spend time together, they just hang out. Sure, good communication is key in any relationship but don’t get mad at him for zoning out when you try to tell him the story of how Becky’s co-worker’s new intern was wearing this ridiculously frumpy grandma sweater dress at happy hour. He probably has no idea what a sweater dress even is.

7. Force him to watch chick shows with you.

Seriously, there are plenty of other shows that the two of you can watch together. Please do not force-feed your man hour-long episodes of The Bachelor.

8. Ask him to change who he is.

His appearance. His group of friends. His job. Women have this bad habit of falling in love with a guy’s potential. Once you start thinking of this guy as your project, not your partner, and pointing out the flaws that you’d like him to fix, it’s pretty much downhill from there.

9. Get him to talk badly about his family.

No matter what kind of nightmare his mother is. Regardless of how obvious it is that his cousin Phil has a severe drinking problem and might do well in anger management. Unless your guy brings it up (in which case, you should still tread lightly) his family’s level of dysfunction isn’t on the table for gossip.

10. Post lots of pictures of the two of you on social media.

Albeit, if you’re dating someone long-term and there’s no sign of you anywhere on his social media accounts, that’s a little suspicious. But getting mad when he won’t post that picture he took of the two of you post-morning cuddle is pretty ridiculous – and also TMI for both of your followers, IMHO.

11. Force him on double dates.

Just because you and your best friend are both dating someone doesn’t mean that your boo is going to get along swimmingly with your friend’s other half – and frankly, he shouldn’t have to. Sure, every now and then it’s fine, but having your date night consistently be a four-person affair where both boyfriends struggle to find something to talk to each other about while you and your bff share the latest gossip is bound to get exhausting.