1. They are each other’s cheerleader, not each other’s coach

Alpha couples are comprised of two individuals with strong personalities. They know how much they hate it when someone else tries to tell them what to do (and they wouldn’t want a relationship where they had to do this anyway). Instead of directing the other person or telling them what to do, they simply support each other and have a mutual trust that the other person will do what is best for them.

2. They don’t allow their phones to infringe on quality time

Alpha couples have an interesting relationship with their smartphones. On one hand, Alpha people tend to have high-powered careers because they are ambitious and smart. On the other hand, you could never tie an Alpha to an unhappy job, especially one that lowered their quality of life. The compromise is this: Alpha couples love their technology probably more than other couples, but they know how to do it judiciously. They answer important emails and take calls, they don’t idle away their time checking up on someone’s Facebook or playing mindless games. They also recognize when you actually save time by monotasking instead of spreading yourself thin — like spending quality time with your partner.

3. They are never in an undefined relationship

Who has the time or energy to worry the person you’re trying to date (or trying to just sleep with) has or doesn’t have the same kind of feelings? No one who is busy trying to take over the world. Alpha couples are made up of two people who know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it, they would never waste time in a relationship that wasn’t exactly what they wanted, no matter what that is.

4. They solve fights and move one

Alpha couples have better things to do than wallow in drama. When a conflict arises, this is the kind of couple than can discuss the issue, make a compromise or plan of action, and move on. There’s no muttering of “you always” or “you never” as they go on with life feeling shortchanged or unhappy with their partner, they aren’t afraid of conflict so they can simply address it and then move on with their lives.

5. They refuse to put each other down

In lesser relationships, feelings bottle up and linger or spend their time with same sex friends complaining about their SO. Not for an alpha couple. These two ferociously have each other’s back.

6. They get out of the box

Alpha couples keep their relationship fresh because they are adventurous and have an itch to try new things, go new places, and explore the unfamiliar. And they’re a stronger couple because of all the bonding that takes place when they do these things together.

7. There’s no nagging

Nagging happens when one person in a relationship wants the other to change, and when the other is in desperate need of making a change. In an alpha couple, neither person sits around waiting for someone to nag them into becoming a better person, both people are motivated to do this completely on their own.

8. They take space, confidently

There’s no concern about cheating, no insecurity to fill with codependency. Each person has their own interests and feels confident pursuing them on their own, knowing that being with a whole, complete person is more interesting than being with your “other half.”

9. No one has a princess complex

There’s no playing dumb, no false coyness, no acting entitled in this relationship. The woman in this relationship knows her man is attracted to her based on her strengths, not on her weaknesses.

10. No one has to be the white knight

There’s no one-dimensional young adult novel hero — they don’t exist. Instead the man in an Alpha relationship is real and attractive to his partner not because he needs to save her, but because he’s done the work to save and better himself. Above all, they are partners.

11. They don’t waste time worrying about measuring up

Excellence, not perfection, is the motto of the Alpha relationship. They strive to be good (above average, even) but they understand that they are human and everyone has shortcomings. They don’t spend sleepless nights over not being perfect when they know they are doing their very best.

12.They are working towards a future (together)

This is not a fast food relationship. There is no rush, no need for empty calories. This is a marathon not a sprint and they make wise decisions about building a strong future together, versus a tempting right now for themselves.

13. They know when they need to break up (and they actually do it)

And because of this…

14. They are confident in their relationship

No one could come between these two because they know if there is anything to worry about, they’ll hear it from their partner first. That’s the benefit of dating someone who’s strong enough to handle confrontation when it’s the right thing to do.

15. They really, truly enjoy each other

You can see it when they look at each other or when one speaks of the other’s latest achievement. Alpha couples succeed because they adore each other and they let it be known how highly they think of each other.