3 Text Messages You Shouldn’t Send To A Girl

If there is one thing you must do while living in San Francisco, it is to date and date plenty. In a city with the best food and drinks there is always something or better yet someone new to try out. After a breakup that I had invested 3.5 years to, another 5 months of “we’re not official but we’re still seeing each other” bullshit, and to top it off another 3 months of crying over it. I looked at myself in the mirror, slapped some color onto my flushed skin and told myself to fucking get over it and recreate myself. Let me break it down to you- I spent 1,430 days with someone I’ll never talk to again and another 90 days of believing I couldn’t live without him. Well, four years later and I’m alive and well. On the upside of a breakup, I was the skinniest I had ever been without even trying. Good shoes take you good places right? I grabbed my Jimmy Choo’s and had a night out with my girlfriends.

We were a group of college girls with two things on our minds – hot guys and hookups. People say that all guys constantly think about sex. For goodness sake, girls do too, but most have a hard time admitting it. We’re not as innocent as most believe but we can sure play the front. I mean give a girl some tequila shots and shirts will be flying off in all sorts of directions.

I was high on curiosity and let the booze sink into my tense muscles. I met guys at bars, walking down the street, at coffee shops, and even the post office line. I looked forward to waking up in the morning to see how the day would unfold. I told myself I wouldn’t say no and I went on casual dates with new people weekly. I couldn’t help but be a flirt and it was great. You’re in charge of your own happiness. Allow yourself to use your gifts and stand tall. While some guys you’d definitely look forward to seeing again, there were also the guys you’d do anything to avoid. Ever wonder why she never texted you back? Here are three scenarios why.

1. Neighborhood stereotypes come from stereotypical guys you meet in that neighborhood. You guessed it. Marina / Frat guy / Mid 20s / Single. Met him at the Tipsy Pig… Why am I not surprised? He was so patient he waited a full three hours before he rejected himself. The funny thing is I was working, wasn’t ignoring him, and simply didn’t look at my phone. What a douchebag. Glad he turned himself down to save me the trouble.

2. Pac Heights / Grad Student / Early 30s / Single. Met him on campus and he asked for my number. Fully regret that decision… He was nice we had coffee but then he stalked me around campus. Better yet he follows me into the silent zone of the library and kept trying to start a conversation. It took him three months to get the point.

3. Embarcadero / Early 40s / Engaged / Now Single. Met him at Butterfly Bar/Restaurant. Agreed to go to dinner with him. In the first 10 minutes he told me he was engaged but his girlfriend recently broke it off. I just listened to him while I pounded cocktails. Then he says, “You know I’m 41 right?” No I didn’t know that (Thanks for volunteering the information). Twenty minutes in and he starts talking about money and how he’s “got money”. Invited me to go to Saison with him. If you’ve heard about that restaurant you’d know how steep the bill is for that place. I politely declined and made up some excuse. I’m not a gold-digger and I was not into him. It was one of the shortest dinner dates I’ve ever had. I never responded to any of his text messages and it clearly drove him crazy. He seemed desperate and I was uncomfortable.

Guys… please don’t do this to us. It is just weird, creepy and annoying.

Sometimes it’s easier to not say anything at all. Who knows? Maybe that text message never got delivered and you can go on pretending you never sent it. Dating will always have its surprises and you’ll learn from everyone you meet and interact with. I encourage all the single girls out there to date plenty. You never know how you affect others. This is a public apology to the guys who never received a text back. She’s just not that into you.