7 Things To Do When He, Like, Hurts Your Feels

1. Cry.

Bawling your eyes out in bed with a tub of well-deserved Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream nestled in your lap—trying to keep the tears from going into the tub, making a salty slush—is a surefire way to feel a little bit better. When you’ve been hurt by a boy, it’s really important to not bottle anything up—trust me, it’s OK to just break down, cry and let your emotions out. Anybody that tells you your crying isn’t justified hasn’t felt like you’re feeling right now. It’s a sign of strength to cry, especially when you’ve gone through something that no girl should have to go through.

2. Talk to someone.

Calling up your girlfriends and venting for hours about what a jerk he’s been can totally help you calm down and feel better about the situation. They’ll always be able to relate from their own boy troubles and they’ll always take your side. You know they’d do the same for you. You deserve some emotional pampering in a time like this (just but be sure you’re the kind of girl to return the favor when someone else needs you—otherwise you’re in for some bad karma).

3. Stalk his Facebook.

Take a gander at his profile and let yourself wonder why you liked this jerk in the first place. Why does he have a shirtless profile pic? He’s not even that ripped. Why does he constantly share quotes of an Indian-looking ’roid monkey named Jyzz from some Bodybuilding page? Why does it say he’s “married” to his freakin’ best bro? You’ll eventually think to yourself: “How any girl can like this guy is like a total mystery.” Doing this will help you distance yourself from the picture of him as like the perfect guy that you have feelings for.

4. Write oh-so-terrible, but oh-so-helpful poetry.

When you’ve been really hurt, it sometimes doesn’t help to just talk it out—this is when you write it out. Just grab a pencil or a quill or whatever you have nearby and pour your feelings onto that paper. You don’t need to be Shakespeare or Faulkner as long as you write what’s in your heart and then read it through thoroughly, you’re going to feel like a heavy boy-stone was lifted from your chest. Be sure to save these notes (dry them gently with a blow-dryer if they’re full of tears), so that you can have a read through them when you’re a bit more collected. This can be a really empowering experience.

5. Do something, whatever you can do, to take your mind off of him.

Go shopping with your closest friends, take a drive out into the countryside, snuggle up with a good book—do whatever you can do to keep the memory of what that boy did to you as far away from your mind as possible. It could be anything, as long as you’re not only lying around crying—don’t get me wrong, that time is totally needed and you deserve that coping time to yourself, but if you do nothing else you may get stuck in a depressive spiral. Your main goal is to become happy again, you deserve to be happy—but as long as you’re thinking about him and what he has done, that’s not really a possibility. Distract yourself, you can do it!

6. Hold out and survive.

*Cliché alert* Time heals all wounds. It’s true. The longer time passes by, the easier it gets. You’ll be able to look at what the boy did from a distance and your ability to deal with it properly won’t be clouded by extreme emotions. Just be like, careful though, not to forgive him automatically because a long time has passed—he is still as guilty to making you feel like shit a week, a month and even twenty years on. Now you may never forget about it, but you may be able to look at it as a life lesson instead of a nightmare after a couple of weeks…

7. Remember that love…actually…

FUcK ALL ThE PREVIOUS REASONS, HIRE A FUCKING HITMAN AND GET THaT CHEATING FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER TAKEN THE FUCK OUT…OR BeTTER YET OFF HIM YoUR FUCkING SELF, PEEL THAT COCKSUCKERS SKIN OFF WITH A SPOON IN HIS FUCKING SLEEP…YOU SAID YoU FUCKING LOVED ME TYRONE, I THoUGhT WE WERE A FUCKING ITEM, AND THEN YOU GO FUCKING FUCK JANE-LYNN BEHIND MY BACK? SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT PRETTY, I’M THE PRETTIEST FUCKING. GIRL. IN . BOSTON.

I shouldn’t have like, written, those first reasons at all because they’re not even like useful and they’re not even feminist. A part of me just wanted to make girls like feel empowered and comment “Thanks, I needed that” in the Disqus below, but the thought of fucking Tyrone fucking that whore got me SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU if you could found the first 6 in the list helpful, you’re probably a slut and not a real woman for thinking that!!!! REAL FEMINISTS ARE STRONG AND FUCKING TAKE THINGS INTO OUR OWN FUCKING HANDS! I AM GOING TO END THAT FUCKING BLACK ASS’ LIFE! FIRST HE SLEPT WITH THAT FUCKING ASIAN CHICK, (I’M REALLY STARTED TO GET PISSED OFF AT PEOPLE OF THE MORE… YELLOW PERSUASION) AND NOW JANE-LYNN? I. WILL. FUCKING. END. YOU. GOOD. FUCKING. LUCK.WITH. YOUR.DROPPING.YOUR.MIXTAPE.NOT. AND.YOUR.DICK.ISN’T.EVEN.THAT.BIG.FOR.A.N-WORD.

GOOD. FUCKING. BYE.