15 Things You’re Thinking When You’re Out, But Actually Want To Be In Bed Watching Netflix

1. I’d much prefer to be lying on the couch eating those weird peppery things that come with my spicy chinese broccoli. Man are those things great. 

2. If I leave by 11, I could probably get at least 2 episodes of Parenthood in. Parenthood is so good. People are gonna start being “obsessed”, and I’ll get to sit here smugly. Can’t wait. 

3. Once Morgan leaves, I’m in the clear. No way Morgan’s here for more than half an hour. 

4. Maybe I should just drink so much that I’ll have no choice but to sit on the couch and power through Suits tomorrow. Is it sad how much I’m looking forward to this? 

5. I can’t believe I just spent 35 minutes talking about Jiro Dreams Of Sushi.

6. That half-eaten burrito better still be in the fridge when I get home. 

7. I get why people consider this fun. But clearly they haven’t seen Sons of Anarchy. 

8. Maybe I should go ahead and buy that snuggie. 

9. He’s still talking? Why is he still talking?

10. On the plus side, at least my computer’s not burning up my lap and likely giving me some sort of cancer. 

11. Why does nobody think laptop burning cancer is a problem? Clearly it’s gonna be a huge problem. 

12. Trevor better not have taken the last of that hot sauce. I mean I guess it’s fair game because he bought it, but still. 

13. I wonder if they ever figured out what’s in a wonder ball. 

14. I wonder what Tom Cruise would think of this bar if he was in this bar right now. 

15. This mediocre drink cost more than my monthly subscription to Netflix.