7 Things Only Tall Girls Understand
1. Heels = no.
This may one of tall life’s greatest reliefs, or one of its saddest tragedies. For me, I probably wouldn’t wear heels anyway – just because my balance (and flare for fashion) is vile. Regardless, when us tall things throw on some sexy ass pumps, we become, despite all good intentions, trees.
2. You feel reassured when you see other tall hotties.
This goes for seeing hunky females and males (because who doesn’t enjoy coming across sexy people??) – but I’m talking about the female ones. It’s like – “Oh hell yea! She is rockin’ the mile-long legs! There’s hope after all!” When I learned that Jennifer Lawrence stands at 5’ 9”, for instance, I did an enthusiastic right-on! nod to myself.
3. You’re a great stepladder fill-in.
When petite folk ask for some help reaching the top shelf, you feel awesome. “Wow. There are some perks to towering over these tiny people.” Granted, this only happens like once every couple years… but still.
4. Your babe pool contains significantly less dudes.
Shallowly, or simply by nature, lots of ladies dig taller guys. But when you’re standing at WNBA heights, a chunk of the babe pool falls into the “shorter than you” category. Thus, the short girl luxury of being physically picky does not extend to us titans.
5. You envy tall guy + teeny girl couples.
He towers over her, picks her up with his pinky, and can toss her in the air effortlessly. It looks as if their bodies were made for one another – like pieces to a beautiful puzzle. They’re sickeningly adorable. Meanwhile, the only thing that could make you look so small and cute is – well, Shrek.
6. You’re perpetually self-conscious about the contents of your nose.
Anyone of average measure can see right up there! Panicked voice in your head: OMG when was the last time I used a Kleenex? What do I feel in there??
7. You trip.
Often. When your feet are so far from your brain, there’s really nothing you can do about it. You can avoid heels, of course, as that’s an obvious health risk. But really, you just have to succumb to the fact that you’re just too much body to manage. 