When You Tell An Unconfident Girl She’s Beautiful
Her friends will tell her how beautiful she is and she’ll smile and say “Thanks!” but she won’t believe them. “They probably just want to make me feel good,” she’ll think to herself.
Like a lot of people, I am not very good at taking compliments. Sure, I think I’m a hilarious person — I probably think I’m funnier than most people do, but that’s besides the point — and I have a huge heart that allows me to care for everybody, no matter who you are. However, do I feel like I’m beautiful? Rarely. I look in the mirror and I’m not always thrilled with what I see. But in all honestly, how many people really are? I have long hair and when I can get it to look good, I’m very proud of it. There are certain parts of myself that I’m happy with, but let’s face it, everyone has those parts of them that they wish they were different. Whether she’s 100 pounds and 5’9 or 200 pounds and 5’4, every body and shape have their flaws and the things they see in themselves that they don’t like.
Many girls have low self-esteem, whether that is due to the society and culture we live in or if something happened in their lives that got them to that point. In my psychology class, we discussed this in a scientific perspective and how high self-esteem allows people to carry themselves better than those with low self-esteem. “Confidence boosters” such as compliments or incentives are said to boost confidence levels in people, however, for many it’s simply a push up the hill for them to fall back down.
Today’s pop culture is a degrading and detrimental to women and the view on their bodies and their personalities. Many young girls strive to look like actresses that are too thin, because they’re the actresses all the guys lust over. Or they will attempt to alter how they act because it’s how so and so is acting, and she’s oh so classy. But that’s not how it works. The magazines and “reality” TV shows are only leading people to strive for things that aren’t necessarily attainable for everybody.
But some people focus too much on the negatives, and therefore can’t seem to take compliments. Her friends will tell her how beautiful she is and she’ll smile and say “Thanks!” but she won’t believe them. “They probably just want to make me feel good,” she’ll think to herself. Or, in some cases, she’ll blow it off, “Oh, stop.” or “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Girls who lack self-confidence aren’t able to accept these because they can’t believe it. Sometimes you just have to smack it into them, and be brutally honest. Sometimes she needs her best guy friend to just text her, “You need to look in the mirror and realize how fucking beautiful you are. Seriously. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known, inside and out.”
Of course, she’ll brush it off. But maybe that’s the start. Don’t be discouraged if you try to compliment an amazing girl and she brushes it off. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate it; she just can’t bring herself to see it yet.
Maybe in her past, she was burned. She was told that she was “too fat” or that she was “ugly”. Perhaps the popular bitches in high school said her “ass was too big” or the stuck up jocks thought maybe she could get laid if she’d just “lose a few (or a lot) of pounds”. Demeaning comments like this will bring a girl down and eventually will make it hard for her to believe when people say nice things.
But for any girls who this has happened to, or who don’t feel beautiful: You are beautiful. And you are amazing. Everybody is beautiful, no matter if you’re the same size as the actress gracing the cover of Vogue magazine or the actress who is titled “Best Dressed” on the Red Carpet. Being individual is what makes us women so beautiful. Nobody is the same. When people compliment you, take the compliments. People won’t waste their time or energy with complimenting you if they’re just bullshitting it. Trust me.
No girl ever deserves to be told anything but that she’s beautiful. Stop with the fat talk. Self-confidence is a quality that this culture is severely lacking, and personally, I think that needs to change. I’m taking the stand.
Here I am, a very unconfident person, but from today on, I will acknowledge that I’m beautiful. And I will see the beauty in other people around me, no matter what they look like, because I’m over beautiful people not seeing their own beauty. And I’m over people lacking self-confidence due to immature people who are too insecure with themselves and therefore have to take it out on other people.
From this day forward, I am beautiful. As are the rest of the women, and men, in the world. See your beauty, because, trust me when I say, it’s there. 