Wait Until You See What American Airlines Told Me When They Lost My Luggage

I always have terrible luck when flying, so it wasn’t a big surprise to me when I landed last night from a long flight to discover my bag had been misplaced. Sure it’s inconvenient, but I understand that, with that much luggage being moved around every day, it’s sure to happen. I went to customer service to give my information, and I always try to be extremely nice to them because I’m sure no one ever comes to see them in a good mood. For some reason most people like to act like this guy personally lost their bag. Like he thought it would be hilarious to toss it out the window of a 747 somewhere over Milwaukee and then do the “Suck It” motion as your clothes scatter across the sky.

As I was talking to the agent I realized that I had paid $25 to check this bag. Shouldn’t that be reimbursed considering my bag didn’t actually make it to the destination? It’s not like $25 is a huge deal, but just on principle it would seem like the sensible thing to do would be to reimburse me for the checked bag fee, right? I’m not asking for a grand gesture or anything, but it would definitely take the frustration out of the situation to have that fee waived or at least be given something more than that creepy little travel bag they offer. You know the one with the four-bristled toothbrush that was laughed out of the room when shown to the American Dental Association? It’s literally only better than nothing.

When I got home I posted something about it on my Facebook and one of my friends suggested posting it on the airline’s Facebook page. Again, I know $25 isn’t a powerball jackpot, but I’m doing this for the voiceless airline passengers everywhere. Is that dramatic enough? Should I have started crying as well? I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to run the idea by them, so I posted it. I was not prepared with how silly their response would be:

So let’s really think about this for a minute. If the bag you’ve place in their care is lost forever and all of your clothes, valuables, and personal items are gone, they’ll be willing to waive the transfer fee and give you back $25. How nice! What if everyone operated by that logic? Imagine hiring a dog sitter to watch your pet while you were out of town. When you get back the sitter tells you that he accidentally left the gate open and the dog ran away. Then when you go to take some of the money back you paid him to watch the dog he informs you that he’s keeping the money and will only give it back if your dog never shows up again or is found dead. Thank you?

I’m just glad they don’t have the same set of rules for transporting people. “Hi I know your grandma was supposed to arrive today, but we misplaced her and she should be in sometime tomorrow afternoon. Don’t worry though, if we never find her we’ll give you enough money to buy Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring on blu-ray. Have a great day!