28 Incredible Tweets From The Greatest (And #Darkest) Twitter Account Of Our Generation
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If you are afraid of the dark, don't be. Most of the truly frightening things are too small to be seen or inside your body already.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 10, 2014
Refer a friend to existential despair and get a free extra year of life that doesn't matter.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) January 5, 2014
FOOTBALL FACTS: If the score is tied at the end of regulation, everyone on the field and in the world will eventually die.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 1, 2014
Which flesh-wrapped stack of blood and viscera are you? Take this quiz and find out.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 26, 2014
A man walks into a bar. The bartender does not see him. No one sees him. The man died years ago. It is cold in the bar.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 18, 2014
Home is where the heart is. You’ll never guess where we hid it though.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 15, 2014
I only have eyes for you. We sold out of skin swaths & teeth a couple hours ago. Last few eyes are in that bucket. (50% off bruised ones.)
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) February 14, 2014
So You Think You Can Dance*?
*perform any action using free will
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) January 5, 2014
Clear bag of eyes. Trunk full of hearts. Can't lose.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) December 20, 2013
Missing: Dog. Still living in my house but seems older, sadder, different now. Not the dog it used to be. I'm older too. No reward offered.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) December 17, 2013
Today's weather: A feeling of foreboding that won't be fulfilled for years.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) November 16, 2013
Ten Places You Need To See Before You Die. Sorry, we meant "OR You'll Die." You have an hour to see these ten places. Your time starts now.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) October 29, 2013
Thank you for your interest in a life free of pain. We are not accepting applications at this time. Please try again and again and again and
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) October 18, 2013
Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) September 28, 2013
Would the owner of a silver Chevy Aveo please continue living your life with the conviction that there is great purpose? You are beautiful.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) September 24, 2013
NFL week 2 preview: You are a day older. A day nearer to your end. Your body is preparing to one day give itself back to the earth.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) September 15, 2013
I really see myself in you. I know you complained and screamed a lot, but I think this torso-mirror implant is working out great.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) September 13, 2013
How many cursed spirits does it take to change a light bulb? Hard to say – they prefer your home to remain in darkness.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) September 1, 2013
Duck Dynasty recap: a tiny, faint star died billions of years ago. The light of its nova finally reaches earth but goes unnoticed.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 22, 2013
You are a special person. In fact, you are one of only a handful of people to ever inhabit your body.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 19, 2013
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't prove that anything is real.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 16, 2013
Are you being followed by wolves? Take this quiz to find out.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 14, 2013
There is no cause for concern. We're way past that now. If you're not at least feeling mild terror then you haven't been paying attention.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 11, 2013
"We have you surrounded." -literally everything that isn't you.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 10, 2013
It's really a lack of imagination that makes children check under the bed. Like the monsters couldn't be floating invisibly just above you?
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 7, 2013
There's nothing under your bed. There's nothing in your closet. Nothing waits in every darkness. Nothing is the most terrifying thing of all
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) August 17, 2013
