1. “Sometimes I just wax/shave because I like the way it feels, and it happens to dovetail nicely with the patriarchy.”
2. “Quitting your job and just marrying a rich dude kind of seems like a life hack.”
3. “I am just not offended by this misogynist commercial/song/comedian, and do not have the energy to force myself to be so.”
4. “This Robin Thicke song is actually kind of catchy.”
5. “Damn, dude, sometimes I do dress for guys’ approval — I’M SORRY, OKAY?!?!”
6. “I wish I could be just one notch prettier so life could be one notch easier, and I will invest time and money attempting to make that a reality.”
7. “Cooking and re-organizing knick knacks all day seems like it actually might be pretty sweet.”
8. “I cannot hear that girl over her chipped-to-hell nails.”
9. “Sometimes I just want to forget it all and open up a mommy blog about naming my children Hudson and making cake pops with my initials written on them in frosting.”
11. “Damn, I actually do wish I looked like the women in the magazines.”
12. “[Sings along aggressively to lyrics about throwing money at hoes.]”
13. “This dude grinding on me does not respect me in the least, but whatever, I’m too twisted to care.” *Continues to grind whilst spilling vodka cranberry on self*
14. “Christoph Waltz looks like he knows his way around a good spanking, and I am 100 percent on board.”
15. “I identify with Betty Draper in some ways.”
16. “[Reblogs unattainable fitspo]”
17. “I make fun of girls who spend their lives on DIY Pinterest, but only because I am bleeding internally with jealousy at their feminine, effortless lifestyle.”
18. “There is a realness to the Sugar Daddy life that honestly seems much more appealing than slogging it out for this Master’s/corporate grind.”
19. “Sometimes living with guys is just easier, and has nothing to do with girls being catty, and everything to do with the fact that they steal your shirts/conditioner/tampons AND NEVER REPLACE THEM. DAMN.” 
