Before there was the popular Temple Run app, there was the original temple run that aired on Nickelodeon in the 90s called Legends of the Hidden Temple.  Most kids that grew up in the 90s have some fond memories watching this show as a kid, but I’m here to tell you that it’s even better as an adult.  Here’s why:

1. The host Kirk Fogg is extra awkward

From the moment he swings down on the rope in that sweet denim staring into the camera and looking into your soul, to the awkward high fives he tries to give to the kids, it’s fascinating to watch the man work.  Between the forced high fives and pulling the kids in after a temple challenge, he did come off slightly creepy at times which makes viewing the episodes now even more interesting to watch.  Somebody else noticed this and posted a quick video of his slightly creepier side here:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahd-aG1R9JU&w=584&h=390]

2. You can now confidently curse at the contestants

Sure Kirk Fogg came off slightly creepy at times with the children, but any man who has enough patience to watch those kids go through the temple run and not swear at them deserves some credit.  When you watched the show growing up you probably weren’t allowed to curse in front of your parents and even if cursing was allowed, you probably didn’t even know what you were saying.  Now that you’re older though, you can scream and curse at the kids through your television when it takes them half of their allowed time in the temple trying to get the Shrine of the Silver Monkey three part puzzle together correctly.

3. Some of the kids are wicked stupid

 Now as an adult I know I shouldn’t be poking fun of kids for not being the smartest, but some of these kids are in a class all by themselves.  Here’s a little transcript of the Q&A session Kirk had with one of the contestants which is now one of my favorite parts of the show:

Kirk: And also uh you’re Tara?

Tara: Yes

Kirk: And Tara you umm, you’re into dancing, and singing, and you like swimming, but you also want to be a police officer. How come?

Tara: Because umm I like the color of police cars, and umm, umm I also just like it.

Kirk: She just likes it. She wants to be a police officer because she likes it.

I personally hope Tara went on to become a beauty pageant, because her answer would probably get her the crown after witnessing some of the Q&A portions of recent Miss America pageants.  Also, the steps of knowledge was a portion in the show that used to be boring, but now it always offers some entertaining answers such as this gem I just watched recently.  Keep in mind that Olmec had just read the entire story to the teams right before these questions were asked.

Olmec:  Was Annie Oakley a gunsmith, a sharp shooter,

(DING)

Kid: A Gun Shooter

All he had to do was say the last thing that Olmec said, but he just couldn’t quite muster it.  Then later the kid outdoes himself with another one.

Olmec: Which of these was a Broadway play about Annie Oakley? Little Orphan Annie, Annie Get Your Gun

(DING)

Same Kid: Little Orphan Anny

Olmec: Incorrect

Annie Get Your Gun literally has the word “gun” in it, but instead he thought that perhaps the entire story about Annie being a gun shooter probably started in an orphanage.  That team ended up just one step away from making it to the temple games.  Don’t worry though they got a $50 savings bond from Squand.  That’s squishable sand. This brings me to my next point.

4. The prizes are comically dope

 The prizes that they gave away on the show may have seemed reasonable in 1994, but now they seem absolutely ridiculous, even if the prizes were going to kids.  Here’s a quick list of some of the prizes that contestants got if they didn’t make it all the way to the temple.

A Nestle Quik gift pack – What is that like five dollars to make my milk chocolate?

BK Ratch Teck sneakers – Not gonna lie this one’s pretty awesome. Those shoes were sweet.

Hologram Star Wars card – Probably cost at least a few nickels in 1994.

Chewy Runts Candy – Free on Halloween or from Grandmas.

A Duncan Yo-Yo – It wasn’t even a nice looking Yo-Yo, and it definitely didn’t have the brain technology.

Once you made it to the temple run however, you started to get into some real prizes, like luggage.  I don’t know a single kid who doesn’t want some luggage.  They also could receive a TV and Boom box from 1994.  The only thing that looks more ridiculous from the past, than what humans were wearing, is the technology that was around.  This “portable” TV boasted a 4 and a half inch black and white screen, and a three feet long protruding back to it.  Just because you can pick up something, doesn’t necessarily make it portable.  Also, for some reason color TV wasn’t possible at that size? I guess I don’t really know how it works.  The grand prize, should you be able to actually make it out of that impossible temple maze, was winning the coveted trip to space camp.  It sounded amazing as a kid, but it’s even more amazing to think that the space program still existed back then.  Now when you type in “Is NASA” into Google, the first three options that come up are: shut down, closed, and still open.  Simpler times back then.

5. It can be easily made into a drinking/gambling game

Now that you’re an adult, you can make the show even more interesting by betting money or drinks on your favorite team.  You can definitely make your own rules, but here are a few guidelines to get some ideas flowing.  After they do a quick sweep of the teams, have everyone watching pick their favorite team.  Try to pick different teams to make it more interesting.  The winners of the first elimination game can give drinks out to the losers in order of how fast they got across the moat.  From there the teams that were eliminated from the first challenge can pick a new team at the steps of knowledge betting in a similar fashion.  After the steps, it’s a free for all on betting on one team or the other in each of the three mini games leading up to the temple run.  In the final temple run you can all make guesses at how far they will get or if they will finish.  Here are some other ideas to throw into the game.

• Anytime a temple guard shows up – 3 drinks
• Anytime Kirk says Olmec – 1 drink
• Anytime Olmec makes a “rock on” or ready to “rock n roll” reference – 5 drinks
• Choose a team at the start and anytime that team is mentioned – 1 drink (This can be deadly if that team makes it through to the temple.)
• Every time they mention the character in the story throughout the show – 1 drink
• They complete the Shrine of the Silver Monkey – 5 drinks
• If they get through the entire temple maze and make it to space camp get ready to “blast off” – Finish your drink

Thank you Legends of the Hidden Temple, because to me you will always be a legend of a TV show.