1. loftedbooch

Playing in a band without ear plugs. Tinnitus is a bitch.

2. KaoticToker

I decided to try and be a parkour expert. My shitty coordination didn’t kill my motivation… Until one evening, I was at a local park, and decided to do a massive wall jump that failed epically. I fell on top of a jabbed surface and tore my intestines. Due to this injury, I now have a permanent colostomy at the ripe age of 16. Mistakes man, they suck.

3. jensut

Not mine, but my moms. Trusting a sketchy dentist because he was in the neighborhood and took Medicaid. For every filling he gave us, he drilled out entirely too much healthy tooth, and gave us each one root canal. In each of our mouths, the tooth that had root canal treatment completely broke off to the gum and all the teeth that he filled ended up breaking. He has since been put out of business and been charged with malpractice.

Edit: “each of us” meaning me and my older sister. We had almost identical dental work.

4. rudymru

Bought a penis-ring to have sex with my ex-GF. The first (and only) time I used it, I set the ring size way too small — basically choked my penis from lack of circulating blood. Completed sex, but the next morning my penis was shriveled (like half its normal flaccid size) and looked like it was covered in really tiny veins everywhere. Went to the ER and it turns out that I caused ischemia in parts of my penis, burst a few blood vessels, and basically destroyed my ability to get an erection for the rest of my life. I am only in my 20s.

Edit: I didn’t expect this comment to blow up so much, thank you all for your empathy (and TY for the reddit gold). There are a lot of questions below.

This happened three years ago, and my ex broke up with me shortly afterwards. I can still get a semi-erection, maybe 20% of what it was previously if I use viagra. It gets engorged somewhat, but doesn’t get ‘up’ like previously. ED causes a lot of stress, anxiety, worry, etc. no matter what age you are. The worst part was that I really couldn’t confide in anybody what was the source of my stress… my parents especially could see something was wrong whenever I visited, but I just told them that I was upset because my girlfriend broke up with me. I was also a medical student at the time. This happened shortly before step 1 (basically the most important test medical students take), and my worry invariably hurt my ability to focus while studying.

Fast forward to now. I have a new girlfriend who has been very compassionate about my ED. The sex is obviously not ideal, but we make it work and I am very lucky to be with her. I am also very lucky that my work allows me to see things everyday that put my problems into perspective. Six hours ago, for example, I met a young guy with lupus, necrotic fasciitis, and now cancer. We have an appointment later today with a middle-aged woman with chronic untreatable migraines. Treating so many people with problems that significantly impair their entire lives (or cause physical pain) has made me appreciate that the only thing I have to worry about is a limp dick… things can be so much worse.

5. Kempiet

Stretching my ears. One of them is stuck with a 10mm hole in that I have to have a plug in permanently or else it looks like a cat anus:

http://i.imgur.com/eZVMZ3s.jpg

6. hrhomer

Tattoo with my wife’s name. She got mine, too. Married six years at the time, blissfully in love. Lasted another eight. Now I just wanna chop my arm off.

7. [deleted]

Missing the party that Bill Gates threw when I was in college before Microsoft took off because I got high.

8. toolatealreadyfapped

Going to med school because it was the next logical step. I didn’t take it seriously, and now I’m $300+k in debt, waiting tables, horribly over-educated and under-skilled/licensed for everything, living with my parents and trying to figure out what’s next.

9. Rightinfrontofyou

Rolling the dice with unprotected sex.

10. Mintaka7

I tried to climb the highest mountain in my country. My father took me and my brother there with some friends. The problem is that I have sickle-cell anemia, and due to the low oxygen I just couldn’t go further; but I did anyway. Bad idea. My spleen and appendix almost burst, and I had to wait for 24 hours in agonizing pain before a helicopter rescued my ass. Had to get my spleen and appendix removed. And now I can’t do any “hard” exercise, ever.

11. Freekmagnet

I grew up poor, as in family had no car or indoor plumbing for many years and lived mostly off potatoes and eggs we raised in the back yard. As a teen I had one pair of shoes and 2 pairs of blue jeans to last an entire school year, which were pretty worn out and patched after a few months. I envied my friends who were better off, and became a workaholic that held down three jobs at a time for most of my 20’s and 30’s. I bought my first apartment building at age 24, while I myself was living in a ratty 1972 mobile home on rented ground in a sheep farm pasture. I went to college part time for years as time permitted, paying cash. I’m not wealthy, but have done OK for myself, have a nice house and enough to live comfortably, and finally got married at age 50. If I had it to do over again, I would have worked less and partied more when I was younger, and made more time for a social life. I regret never taking enough time to search for and find the “right” one when i was young enough to have kids and a family, instead settling for comfortable relationships with the few women over the years who showed any interest in me, and raising their kids instead. I would have spent more time traveling the world, getting a better education, explored art more, gone to concerts, drank more beer, owned more animals, sat around more bonfires, learned to play an instrument, learned to fly, owned more race cars, volunteered at more charities, gone to more beaches, planted more gardens, and formed more deep friendships with a large, diverse and ecclectic group of people. These things are more important than having money in the bank or a nice house.

12. Tamasin

My Dad called me and told me he was dying, (he was in hospital with cancer), I asked the nurse if he was and she said no, anyway I tried to get to see him but my brother had my car and I couldn’t get anyone to take me and he died late that night, alone. If I knew, obviously I would have bussed, walked, hitchhiked or crawled to that hospital but I didn’t, and 14 years later I still can’t forgive myself and it haunts me every day.

13. herpelderpingston

Not wearing my retainer…

14. Skewter

I decided to break up a fight. It was a success at first, but then some guy came from behind and tackled me. I was stronger than him and gave a few good ones, but he was obviously a trained a fighter. He put my leg in some type of jiu-jitsu hold and tore my ACL. I was an uninsured student at the time. Ten years later, I still cannot play any sports and I have to be extremely cautious in the snow.

15. -eDgAr-

I didn’t take brushing or flossing seriously and now a bunch of my teeth are in pretty bad shape.

16. golarge14/h3>

Breakup sex? Sounds good to me. No harm in that. Boom. Eighteen years of child support.

17. Ganthams_prime

Smoking.. I have done irreverseable damage to my body. For no reason other than to get a nicotine fix for a problem I created for myself.

God I was stupid, I quit 2 years ago and I still think I want to smoke on a weekly basis, but I know better.

18. ninefivedelta

Volunteering to go to war. I didn’t even have to go, could have finished my contract out and never have went. I feel like it cost me my sanity and happiness most of the time. Definitely took more out of me than I ever expected it to.

19. iamzombus

Decided to not socialize when I was younger, didn’t go to a 4-year college, and I work full time.

Now I have no life.

20. vivichase

Lying through my teeth (“I’m okay”) to my highschool counsellor when she asked me how I was doing. 4 years of severe depression and many failed college classes later, so many doors in life are closed to me forever. If you’re a young adult reading this, please get the help you need if you need it. Today.

21. astrophelia

It was a very gradual shift over the course of a year from “if I eat a little less and exercise more” to “if I eat absolutely nothing and exercise for 4-5 hours a day” that did it to me. The entire time I felt like I was making a conscious, independent choice as I slipped further and further into a mental illness that kills 20% of its sufferers. Now I have a serious heart problem, osteopenia, and people still do not think I am sick, just “in control”. I would have less health problems if I were overweight. My doctors had to let me go once I was a “healthy” weight but that didn’t help my mental health at all. Every day I struggle with putting the food I need to live into my body. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

22. motionless19

Tattoos. I love them, but if I could go back, I wouldn’t get them. [It’s] career choice. Fortunately, it’s nothing a long sleeve shirt doesn’t cover, but still. I just wish it was more hidden. I have ones on my chest and side that I don’t worry about at all. Just one on my forearm and one on my bicep. Could’ve picked a better place for them.

23. theothermustard

To not be more there for my grandparents before they passed.

24. xSINNx

When I was 20 or so I was poor, my family was poor, and things got really bad that year.
I decided I could make some quick money flipping stolen items (buy cheap, sell for a profit). I was an idiot and got busted.

I got a felony for it, and 7 years of probation. Now I’m 28, can’t get a fucking job anywhere, and life is nearly pointless at this juncture.

I’ve been on the good side of the law since that all went down, and with each month that passes where I wonder if I’ll eat tomorrow or have a roof over my head I think more and more “I could solve this by getting back into crime…”

It’s a vicious cycle, and I’d rather be shot in the mouth than go through all of it again.

I have no clue how ill ever get my fucking life back on track.

TL;DR Don’t commit crimes when you’re desperate. You’ll do something stupid and fuck your life up forever. And don’t ever think that anyone will “get it” or give 2 fucks about you, because they won’t. The world will condemn you, shit on you, and then treat you like a worthless lazy cunt because no one will fucking hire you.

Yay for life. /s

25. behindtimes

I turned down my dream job because of location. Then, I ended up getting another job elsewhere that was the right location and a high salary, and those were the worst 5 years of my life.

26. oregonphototrekker

Breaking up with that awesome girl in college because I wasn’t ready to settle down. Been trying to find a girl that awesome ever since (or remotely close).

27. TheSmex

Letting my family and friends know I can fix computers.

28. ScubaSteve1129

Maybe not 100% permanent, but I’m a recent college grad with a degree in film, and while film is my passion, I hate myself every day for being stupid enough to major in film.

29. amsterdaam

Screwing around in high school and not going to college.

I’m not saying college is necessary for everyone, but I think I would be in a much better place overall if I had gone. I have a decent corporate job that I am very good at. I’ve been employed by the same company for 10 years. My life is not horrible, but the ceiling is getting so low that I have to crouch in my cubicle.

I’ve seen enough advice animal memes on the front page to know that the high school kids are out for summer. If you are reading this, please take my genuine advice. Just tough it out, do well in school, and get a scholarship. Your schoolwork should really be your main focus in life. It will suck. You may not get to go do the things your friends are doing. I know this. I chose to have fun, and now I don’t have much fun anymore. I have close friends that are now fresh new lawyers, Paramedics on their way to becoming Doctors, A Wall St. broker and even an astrophysicist, and I am already 10 years into a middling career that can’t ever really make me happy.

I’m not saying my life is over and this is it for me. I can go to college in my spare time, my employer will even help pay for it. I am pretty good at taking pictures, I can see a spark there, maybe something will come of that as well. What I’m saying is I would have much preferred, in retrospect, if I had just buckled down and worked hard and gone to college right after high school when learning was still fresh and I still remembered a bit about high level algebra. The ability to learn at the rate you currently do goes away. Use it while you have it. Now, I’ll have to re-learn a lot at do schoolwork around a full time job.

TL;DR: SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

30. imaunitard

Not breaking up with my ex-wife while we were in college. One night we were doing laundry and we were right on the verge of breaking up. We almost broke up, but I backed down. We ended up getting married and had a couple of kids. My life is very fucked up because of her now 15 years down the road…but I have two wonderful kids from the relationship, that would not exist if we had broken up that one night.

Funny how so much of my life seems to pivot around that one night and that one decision. Without making the decision I made I would not have my kids. But my life would not be fucked. I think about that night a lot.

31. KHDTX13

When you’re young, you think you’re invincible.