21 Problems With Dating In Your 20s

1. No one is making the same amount of money, and it’s kind of awkward to ask, but the whole question of “what kind of dates can we go on and how should we pay for them and is something like a trip ever an option” eventually has to be addressed.

2. Everyone has a different version of what an actual relationship means, and no one needs to make any compromises for anyone else.

3. Most people can’t even envision themselves getting married or having kids until at least 30, and if you want those things earlier, you’re a little bit shit out of luck. (Except for the Christian kids who got married right out of college, but they don’t count.)

4. With online dating, there are always a million people to choose from and you’re never sure if one of you is just going to get bored and look through a literal catalog of people to replace the other person with.

5. When you’re first dating — again, largely due to online dating and all of the opportunity it provides — you’re never sure if you’re the only person they’re seeing or one in a large weekly rotation of people who have been messaging them to go get coffee on OkCupid.

6. If one of you has a “real job” and the other one doesn’t, it’s just incredibly awkward on about ten different levels.

7. Debt is something that is really hard to bring up with someone, but it’s definitely something that you want to know about someone before you get really, really serious with them. If someone is carrying 100 grand that they aren’t really paying back and you would like to buy a house someday, you can basically never put anything down on paper with them for the rest of your life together.

8. Because so many of us have almost nothing really holding us down, and travel has never been cheaper or more accessible, half of the people you know/meet in any given city are only planning on being there for the next year at most.

9. There is a huge amount of the population which is just kind of looking for casual sex where you go get a beer now and again, and you can’t really tell who they are until you’re already halfway into a relationship and completely emotionally invested.

10. So many people are still in school well into their 20s and have no idea what they’re going to be doing next year, so have no intention of really planning on anything serious anywhere in their life.

11. You are so constantly able to communicate with each other and see what the other person is up to (via social media, texting, etc), that you often forget to actually reach out and do some meaningful maintaining of the relationship.

12. Because of this access to information, you can know absolutely everything about every person they’ve ever dated or slept with before you, completely against your will. You are basically guaranteed to obsess, even if you’re not normally a jealous person.

13. It’s impossible to take a little space from one another because you will always remain directly in front of one another on your phones, on your computers, and through your friends. You will always see what they’re up to, even if you want to just be alone for a few days.

14. For financial reasons, especially in big cities, it’s so easy to move in together that you can’t even tell if you really want to or are ready to, you just know that you want to be paying half as much rent.

15. Everyone is so afraid of looking vulnerable because the dating market is so fast and free and commitment is so limiting, that no one really makes the first move about being honest with their feelings.

16. Most everyone has roommates (or, worse, lives with their parents), so loud sex is very often out of the question. And everyone needs a little loud sex every now and then.

17. A lot of the people you have the option of meeting in ways outside of online dating are people that you’ve already dated, your friends have already dated, or your coworkers have already dated. And that just leads to unfortunate feelings for everyone.

18. Not having the same taste in music as someone can be a dealbreaker, which doesn’t even seem that insane anymore, honestly.

19. Some people are still desperately clinging to old-school gender roles and other people have let them go completely, and you never know who is who until it’s too late.

20. People are absolutely obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship or having some kind of partner, and yet so many of them don’t actually really want it when they get it. They just like the idea of it because we are told every day that it is what will make us complete.

21. Every year you advance in your 20s, you are looked at more and more sadly if you don’t have someone. Even if all the couples around you are unhappy and bound to break up. And it’s just not fair.