8 Movies To Watch During Straight Pride Month (As Recommended By a ‘Straight’ Person)
It’s Straight Pride Month, which means that it’s time to celebrate all things heterosexual, including (but not limited to) procreation, trad wives, and Field of Dreams.
For these 30 days, corporations around the Western world shed their basic gay logos and bedazzle them with Straight Pride colors — white and off-white. They donate to straight organizations and raise awareness of issues facing marginalized straight populations around the world. After all, unlike privileged groups who don’t suffer discrimination (such as gay people), straight people must confront terrible realities such as high egg prices and systematic prejudice towards cargo shorts. But that’s just a small price to pay for having been born as someone who is biologically attracted to members of the opposite sex. That said, anyone who has managed to survive in a world so stacked against them deserves their own month. So, here are eight movies that you can watch to support your straight friends and family while gaining a deeper understanding of the straight experience.
Weekend
As the name implies, this movie takes place over the course of a sole weekend. Like any relationship drama, it mines poignancy and tragedy from the subtlest of interactions — a pause, a smirk, a sigh. As these two men fall passionately in love and f*** like hogs they — Oh wait, sorry. This movie isn’t straight. Let me try again!
Colette
This is a period piece about a well-known luminary of French literature, which means that it’s probably a rousing homage to heterosexuality. French people are known for having lots of straight sex, and movies about literary icons always focus on how happy their straight marriages are. So, you can rest easy knowing that this movie will focus on Colette’s heterosexuality, even as she discovers a passionate and enduring love for kissing women — Oh, damn. This movie isn’t straight either. I swear I didn’t do that on purpose. It’s like my fingers are typing only gay things today.
The Perfection
OK, here we go. This movie is about two heterosexual female friends with no latent issues and with a mutual, non-gay love for classical music. Their pure, sexless friendship is threatened by an unplanned detour which causes privilege and power to degrade their straight utopia and unleash their Sapphic desires. Oh my God. I really can’t stop it now. I can only recommend gay movies now, like the straightness has left my body.
Bad Education (2004)
I’m already losing hope that this movie is straight, but this movie, directed by Pedro Almodóvar — OK, it isn’t straight. Do you still want to know what it’s about, though? Oh, you do? Wait, are you gay? Asking for a friend, definitely not me. Never mind. Anyway, this movie is about a man who reconnects with a former friend and lover, then slips into a tangled labyrinth of desire and misdirection. Oh, and the lover is a guy. Because they’re gay. Which is … good?
Dance of the 41
This thrilling, beautifully drama movie follows a real-life scandal from 1901 Mexico in which 41 men are caught cross-dressing and engaging in a love that dare not speak its name. They’re summarily arrested and publicly tortured, which is pretty awful and I’m starting to think that queer people really do face discrimination and that they’re not just saying that for attention!
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Part glam-rock fantasy, part punk battle cry, Hedwig and the Angry Inch tells the engrossing story of Hedwig, a down-on-their-luck East German rocker who tours dive bars across America after a botched sex change operation. Underneath the shiny, baroque surface lies a moving tale of self-discovery and coming to terms with one’s queer identity. I feel lighter after writing that.
G.B.F.
Directed by queer cult icon Darren Stein, this hilarious movie is what Love, Simon could have been without the layers of schmaltz. As the queer teen rom-com that so many of us deserved — and yes, I just came out — GBF delivers satire, sweetness, and Megan Mulally. The movie follows protagonist Tanner as he becomes the GBF (gay best friend) of his high school’s popular girl, even as he strengthens his will-they/won’t they friendship with his own GBF. Man, I’d love a GBF. Actually, girl, give me a husband!
Tangerine
This hilarious and insightful movie about two trans sex workers delivers breathless action and demonstrates why trans people, sex workers — and, hell, queer people everywhere — deserve respect, recognition, and governmental protection. It was shot entirely on an iPhone and it should have won ten Oscars. Watch this movie to deepen your understanding of the trans experience. The world needs more trans representation!
Also ………. Straight Pride Month doesn’t exist!
