6 Reminders To Read When Others Try To Invalidate Your Feelings

1. Calling you crazy is a way for them to ignore your voice. You shouldn’t feel bad when someone accuses you of overreacting because it says more about them than it says about you. It means they aren’t interested in hearing what you have to say. It means they aren’t able to show empathy for your situation. It means they don’t want to be bothered by your emotions and would rather pretend they don’t exist than take the time to talk to you about them. When someone invalidates the way you’re feeling, remember, it reflects poorly on them, not on you.

2. You don’t need permission from others to feel the way you feel. You’re allowed to be upset or angry or frustrated, no matter what the people around you have to say. Maybe they don’t think your emotions are warranted, but everyone’s hearts and brains work differently. You’re allowed to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. You shouldn’t let someone convince you you aren’t allowed to be upset because other people have it worse or you aren’t allowed to be proud of yourself because other people have done better. Your feelings are valid. No one needs to give you permission to feel the way you feel.

3. Their opinions don’t matter in the long run. Even though it’s always nice to have someone on your side to comfort you when you’re down, you have to remind yourself that it’s okay if other people don’t understand you. It’s okay if they have a different way of looking at the world than you do. And it’s also okay for you to walk away from them. It’s okay for you to decide you only want to surround yourself with people who will take your emotions seriously and distance yourself from the people who make you feel bad about having a heart. They can live life their way — and you can live life your way.

4. You shouldn’t hide away your feelings to put others at ease. You shouldn’t feel pressured to pretend you’re fine when you’re falling apart on the inside. You shouldn’t tiptoe around someone else’s feelings because you’re worried about how they’ll react when they learn about yours. You have a right to say how you feel. You’re allowed to speak your truth.

5. You shouldn’t let someone toxic turn you into a cynic. Just because one person invalidates your feelings doesn’t mean everyone else will do the same. Don’t assume everyone is going to behave how they’re behaving. Don’t assume wearing your heart on your sleeve is a bad thing when it’s a beautiful thing.

6. The right people will want you to express your emotions, even when they’re uncomfortable. You shouldn’t feel pressured to keep your problems to yourself. You shouldn’t feel like you aren’t allowed to speak your mind. Once you find the right people, people who understand you, you will feel comfortable spilling your heart out. You won’t think it’s a flaw you have such strong emotions. You’ll realize it’s a strength.