Don’t tell me that you miss me when I run into you unexpectedly on an otherwise ordinary afternoon. When I interrupt a conversation you were having with a friend to ask you how you’ve been. When your friend leaves and we get into a conversation that feels much more forced than the laughs we once shared. Don’t add in “I miss you” as the reason you suggest we grab coffee and catch up sometime. When we both know we’ll never make good on that promise.

Don’t tell me that you miss me when we bump into each other at some bar some Saturday night. When I consciously made note of you walking in, and tried to avoid crossing paths. When you finally see me, pull me in for a hug, and then grab my hands to dance. Don’t add in “I miss you” as your hands find their way to my hips and sway me with the music. When we both know you can’t miss something you never had.

Don’t tell me that you miss me, whispering it softly in my ear, as you kiss my cheek. When we’ve been dancing and singing, and feelings start rising up despite best efforts to contain them. When we get caught up in the moment, knowing we won’t see each other again for quite a long time. Don’t add in “I miss you” as you kiss my forehead, making it more difficult than it already is to walk away. When we both know walking away is for the best.

Don’t tell me that you miss me after realizing you don’t have enough money left to buy me a drink. When I get mad at you for apologizing so many times, and refuse to grant you an apology for the decisions I made and continue to stand by. When not too long ago, this attitude of mine was what drove you away. Don’t add in “I miss you” as a sarcastic slap in the face across my big mouth that either says too much or nothing at all. When we both know there are no words that could fix this.

Don’t tell me that you miss me over text when I initiated the conversation. When I initiate all of our conversations. When I purposefully limit the amount of times I try to reach out because you have your life, and I have my life, and there is nothing wrong with that other than I still want to maintain a friendship. Don’t add in “I miss you” because you feel like you should. When we both know you either have the feeling or you don’t.

Don’t tell me that you miss me because you haven’t seen me in enough time that apparently equates to “forever” in your world. When you have made zero effort to arrange a time when we can get together and catch up. When I have tried to make plans with you, and you agreed to let me know, but either never did or simply forgot to do so. Don’t add in “I miss you” as some kind of apology after yet another failed attempt to see each other. When we both know if it really mattered, we would have seen each other by now.

Don’t tell me that you miss me when we feel ourselves start to grow apart. When our lives take us in different directions and we begin forming new friendships. When we both mean to keep in touch, but our busy lives make frequent communication difficult. Don’t add in “I miss you” because it only makes not seeing you feel that much worse, like adding salt to a wound. When we both know we will stay friends, even if we don’t talk constantly anymore.

Don’t tell me that you miss me unless you really, honestly and truly, miss me. Unless you intend to act on that feeling of missing and make an effort to see me. Unless you understand that I think overuse of the phrase “I miss you” has left it with very little genuine meaning. So don’t add in “I miss you” unless each of those three words are said with sincerity. Unless you realize that strung together, I will take those words to heart, and expect more from you than just words.