11 Things People Hate About Facebook Couples

Khafizov Ivan Harisovich / (Shutterstock.com)
Khafizov Ivan Harisovich / (Shutterstock.com)
I randomly surveyed people around my campus and asked them to tell me the one thing they hate about Facebook couples.

1.

Stop posting couple selfies as if the last selfie of you kissing is so much different from the other twelve selfies of you kissing. Congratulations, you like to kiss each other like the majority of the other couples in America. (4 people)

2.

Stop arguing over Facebook and then making up over Facebook. Look up “privacy” in the dictionary. We don’t need to know all your business. Also, it just looks like you both love the drama. (5 people)

3.

Stop posting how nauseatingly happy you are with pictures and emotes. We get it, you love each other or at least you think you do. Some of us would like to be able to log on without you rubbing your happiness in our faces. Sample quotes from those I interviewed: “My boyfriend just died, but it’s so nice to be reminded every day that yours didn’t.” … “I like to make bets with our friends on how long until you can’t stand each other.” … “I know when I see posts like this, they’re only just starting out and don’t know each other.” (16 people)

4.

Your pet names for each other. Really? I get that you want to be original. You can’t use “honey” or “baby” or something like that. You have to be original and use some stupid variation of a common pet name and then post it all over the place as if that makes your relationship more valid. When I see, “My Hooney Booney,” or “Luv u bubee,” and I know it isn’t a damn typo, I want to V8 pop you. (3 people)

5.

Posting pictures of their text messages. Posting that message where he cleverly changed what you said into an expression of love is so boring and unoriginal. Keep your swooning to yourself. How many times can we see your conversations of you two saying you love each other without it getting old? (1 person)

6.

This is usually one-sided, but stop posting how much you love them on every single thing that has ANYTHING to do with them. They tagged the person you love in a picture? Why do you feel like you should say, “So cute. Love you so much!!! *ten emotes and hashtags*” (2 people)

7.

Celebrating anniversaries for stupid time periods. Really? A two-week anniversary? Your relationships tend not to last this long, do they? (7 people)

8.

Changing your relationship status every week because you break up every time you have a little spat. It gets old to write a fake sympathetic “Aww, what happened?” when it happens so often. (1 person)

9.

The ones who clearly flaunt their relationship because they know their ex can see it. Grow the hell up. You probably don’t even like that person you’re with. You just want to make your ex jealous. How do I know? How about the fact that you keep your ex on your list but when you make a post, you only post it when they’re online, you only post things after they’ve posted something, and to top it off, you put in the title, “So happy with someone new,” or “He/She was everything I needed. I’ve been looking at the wrong people for years.” (1 person)

10.

The kind who post about waiting for their significant other to come home every single night. I get they’re at work and you’re bored or lonely, but why do you have to post, “Waiting for my man to come home” every single night? (3 people)

11.

The ones who say other people are bitter because they’re sick of seeing these things. Honey, no one is jealous of you, we’re just sick of your high-school romance. We’re all adults here, and we’d just appreciate it if you didn’t revert back to being a teenager every time you get into a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being happy, but there is something wrong with being an airhead. When you call someone bitter for being sick of your crap, it makes it seem like we can’t have an opposing opinion without being biased because of our own love life. (9 people)

The majority of the people who contributed to this list are married or in a relationship. The majority are majors in Accounting, Management, or Marketing. Don’t know if that matters at all. One of them says it matters. TC mark

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