Promises I’ll Make To My Future Boyfriend

Dear Future Boyfriend,

Well I’m writing you this letter because I got really bored and got a little jealous of the super sweet couple photos and cheesy snapshots on my newsfeed. So instead of wallowing in self-pity on a hot weekday night, I’ve decided to tell you how awesome our relationship will be.

First of all, you can trust me and I’ll be forever loyal to you. The only time you’ll see me looking at another guy is when I’m staring at my lock screen and I see Ian Somerhalder’s perfect face. I guess no girl could resist his charms and honey, please forgive me for I am no exception. I’ll also trust you and honestly wouldn’t mind if you do a double-take at the pretty girl in the mall. But remember you can only look, but never, ever touch because if you make one move on her, you’ll be expecting that I’ll be serving her as my dog’s dinner the next night. (I’m just kidding. Maybe not.)

I promise that we’ll hate the same shit together. I know we both think that Game of Thrones and Twilight series are overrated. We’ll both hate mayonnaise and its disgusting smell. We’ll hate One Direction and Justine Beiber and all their teenage girl armies. We’ll share more dislikes in this generation but deny being hipsters (because we also hate hipsters).

I’ll never scream when I see a cockroach, and together we’ll find so many ways to torture that filthy insect. I’ll never leave your side when it starts flying. But please don’t find it weird that I find dissecting animals amusing. It’s just the way I am, and internal organs are just so cute.

I’m not the type of girl who’ll wait for you to text me first. I won’t even complain if you won’t text me the whole day. I believe we have our own lives and seeing you is much better than texting. Although I’ll probably send you some funny, random meme I found in the internet and hope you do the same.

Don’t worry because I’ll understand your 9gag jokes. I honestly think they are funny and 9gag.com saves me whenever social networking sites have bored me to death.

Please understand if I fall asleep or don’t pay attention when we’re watching basketball. I hate basketball and I couldn’t last even for a quarter. I just think that guys passing and shooting a ball are boring to watch. But when it’s game night, I’ll be beside you, eating all the popcorn and drinking all the iced tea and cuddling, of course.

I’ll play lazertag with you and watch action movies, but please remember that I’m still a girl. There’s a part of me that will always look for your hand when I feel lost in a big crowd. Holding you makes me feel safe and looking in your eyes makes me feel warm.

I’ll insult you and I know you’ll insult back and I wouldn’t mind. Because hearing those words are music to my ears. It’s like saying “I love you” in a different language.

We will be dying as we wait for BBC’s new season of Sherlock. We’ll complain and hate Moffat, but still compliment him for giving us our most favorite series.

I won’t be like the other girls you have dated. Mainly because I don’t have PMS (you just hit the jackpot, babe) I don’t have those premenstrual feels that cause girls to turn to godzillas before their period. Although I’ll occasionally complain about cramps, well, they really hurt like hell.

Don’t worry about my guy friends; I have briefed them about you so they won’t be waiting in an alley threatening your life if you ever hurt me.

You’ll rarely hear the words “I love you” from me. But when you do, you’ll be sure that I mean it. I won’t expect you to love me the way I love you because people love differently. I know our relationship will appear weird to other people, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not gonna force you to recreate scenes I have watched in romantic movies because I know ours will be better. There may be no rainbows or perfect sunsets but it will do because it will be real.

I’ll never leave you when things get rough. I’ll never leave you when you’re sick. I’ll be your personal nurse and your own pillow and I wouldn’t mind catching your flu. I’ll never leave you when you’re mad. I’ll never walk out of your life even if you’re being a jerk. I know that when you love a person, you’ll love him flaws and all.

I love you for all the things you are and aren’t. I love you in spite of all your imperfections and I will love you until you give me reasons not to.

I have been waiting for you and I am reserving myself until you come. I know that I’ll feel it when you have finally arrived in my life at God’s perfect time. I’m just here waiting and praying you’ll get here safe. I know I’m not the princess-like girlfriend most guys like but I promise to be not only your girlfriend, but best friend as well.

I’ll never give up on you and the only time I’ll let go is when you asked me to. I don’t care if you’ll come 5 or 10 years from now; after all, it’s never too late to start forever.