9 Reasons Why INTJs And ENFJs Belong Together

1. A deep senses of loyalty is ingrained in their very beings.

There will never be any issues concerning infidelity for these two loving individuals. An ENFJ’s happiness heavily depends on their loved ones, people they would not dare hurt. They put the INTJ as their first priority and cannot stand the idea of letting them down. An INTJ’s pragmatic and honest personality would also never allow them to make an unfaithful decision. They hold truth at the highest regard and expects their partner to do similarly.

2. They learn to say yes to excitement.

While the INTJ is satisfied with a weekend of binge-watching Netflix by their lonesome, the ENFJ will stop at nothing to get their partner out of the house. The ENFJ is smart enough to choose light activities, such as a trip to the movies or the pizza place, as they know it’s difficult for the INTJ to leave their comfort zone in the first place. ENFJs will never stop pushing the INTJ into getting out more and making the most of life. Often, the INTJ learns to become more open towards other people and new experiences.

3. They learn that it’s okay to say no, too.

No, no, no, no: just some of an INTJ’s favorite words. The ENFJ loves a good challenge and enjoys making new friends. Unfortunately, this also means they take on more than they can handle. They also plan outings with too many people, as an attempt to maintain all relationships. Most of the time, this just results in the ENFJ being sleep-deprived and tired. The INTJ is the only one who can convince the ENFJ that being a “Yes (Wo)Man” can do more bad than good. Often, the ENFJ learns to stand her ground and not be as much as pushover.

4. Self-care is prioritized above anything.

The INTJ can identify the ENFJ’s tendency to forget her own well-being, who favors taking care of others’ well-being instead. INTJs maintain the responsibility of ensuring that the ENFJ doesn’t fly too closely to the sun. The ENFJ values the INTJ’s opinion greatly. Sensitive ENFJs can count on the INTJ’s brutal honesty, especially when faced with difficult decisions and deteriorating self-esteem. This is when INTJ swoops in with some much-needed tough love.

5. They are respectful of each other’s privacy and space.

It’s very difficult to form a close relationship with an INTJ. However, ENFJs are tolerant team players, valuing others’ way of life, even if it contradicts with their own. As a compromise, the ENFJ and INTJ’s typical form of interaction is through digital media. They have probably logged over 50k messages on iMessage and thousands of minutes on Skype. Most messages involve the ENFJ’s internal monologue with the INTJ’s occasional sentences of emotional support (favorites include the redundant “haha lol” and the classic “that sucks”).

6. Arguments never last long.

ENFJs are notorious for avoiding conflict at all costs, which preemptively discourages starting any sort of fight. INTJs do not find sense in holding grudges and therefore, finds a way to fix an issue as soon as it arises. If an argument is inevitable however, the ENFJ’s weapon of choice is the silent treatment, which is widely hated and immediately resolved by INTJs. In a different light, INTJs are very direct when addressing their concerns; ENFJs are quick to compromise in order to please the INTJ.

7. They speak in their own secret language. 

They understand each other like no one else. As Intuitives, ENFJ and INTJ have the aptitude to “read between the lines”, especially with each other. Both are creatures of sentiment, who are comfortable enough with each other to talk about things they seldom discuss with others. They could talk about (and be genuinely interested in) each other’s food choices, mundane tasks, and other minute details about their day. These personalities trust their gut feeling in figuring out how each other is feeling; this is particularly helpful since both suppress their own emotions: the ENFJ for the sake of others, and the INTJ favoring logic. Since both are reluctant to openly discuss romantic feelings, they have a silent mutual agreement to avoid such topics.

8. …But they are also attracted to each other’s mysteries.

Even though they know each other very well, they are still figuring each other out. Above everything, the ENFJ and the INTJ are very different people. The INTJ sees their partner as a puzzle waiting to be solved, while the ENFJ sees its partner as a cause waiting to be saved. The ENFJ crave to understand the INTJ’s intellect, while the INTJ seeks to figure out the ENFJ’s charisma.

9. They make one serious power couple.

As natural-born leaders, these two have proven that they make each other better, an ability they would want to share to anyone who will listen. As Judgers, they both appreciate order and harmony, doing everything in their power to maintain it. The ENFJ is a textbook diplomat, gifted with social skills, eagerness to help, and emotional intelligence beyond average capacity. On the flipside, the INTJ’s inherent pragmatism, fierce work ethic, and decisive attitude perfectly balances out their partner. As the type of person “who knows everybody”, the ENFJ will ensure that they have the right network connections. Meanwhile the INTJ will formulate the most logical plan to achieve their goals. Basically, they’re going to rule the world. (And ultimately make it a better place.)

Unfortunately, knowing these two personality types well, they are often times stuck in a “just best friends” limbo they cannot escape. The ENFJ has long realized their true emotions towards the INTJ, but values their strong bond too much that they will not risk it being ruined. Perpetually clueless in the romance department, the INTJ know they love the ENFJ, but is too judgmental and arrogant to accept it yet. Keep in mind that while the INTJ prefer direct communication, these types of emotions are still taboo. As intuitive individuals, they spend too much time focusing on what might happen, than figuring out what to do in the present. My advice? Get rid of the what-if’s, maybe’s, and idk’s. Don’t wait too long.